calling all prayer warriors!!!

July 11th, Today was my appointment with Dr. Panares, my oncologist. He answered all the questions I have like, did my port move? Can I paint my toenails since I am not allowed to have a pedicure or manicure? Can I go to the river in August with my family if I am feeling up to it? Will I get more sick with the chemo as time goes on? He answered yes to all the questions except the port did not move (I am such a worry wart! LOL) and he said no I probably wont get more sick than I did the first round! But I can paint my toenails and I can go to the river! He actually wants me to go to the river!
Everyone knows I don't want to hear Stages or statistics! I am someone who worries about EVERYTHING and I know that is how the Devil gets me! So while we were there with the dr, out of the blue, he just starts spewing statistics! UGH!!!!! He said only 40-50% of people on the chemo cocktail actually respond to it. He said that means it only stops the growth of the cancer, but in rare cases, it will actually shrink the cancer! I so did not want to hear that at all!!! He said they have a piece of my tumor and are testing it against different chemos and he said they found 1 chemo so far that absolutely does nothing to my tumor, so that one is out. Then he said there is another chemo that did work on my tumor. The problem is, my tumors are bloody tumors and this chemo makes you bleed. This new chemo only has the same 40-50% chance of working also. So he only wants to do it as a last resort. Then, I got some more news, he said I can't be on chemo forever and eventually he wants to take out the tumor in my colon. Jon asked about the tumors on my ovaries and the dr said, "Eventually, yes. That is a more in depth surgery that will require a gynecological surgeon to preform it!" So at this point, I wanted out of there. I need a dr who is upbeat and tells me, "We got this!" My dr has great bedside manners, just not for me, he looks at me with pity and is very touchy feely! Which is so nice, but I am afraid I am going to break down and cry right there in the office every time he does it!!!! What is my rule, NO CRYING!!!!! If I cry, I just may never stop! I have a life, kids and a husband to take care of for the next 5o years! Any ways, my blood work came back good enough to do my chemo the next day! Oh! I have lost 24 lbs in 3 weeks tho... not that you can tell yet!
July 12th, Time for chemo! It went pretty good! I was much more relaxed and actually slept! Poor Jon sits in this uncomfortable chair! But they did give him a soda! LOL! We were there from 9:30am to 2:15pm! So now I am hooked up to my little fanny pack buddy for the next 2 days! Once I got home, I got horrible leg aches!! It was terrible! I am pretty sure it was caused by dehydration. I can't wait until Thursday at 12:30pm to get this out of me!! Then I get that precious week off!!
July 13th, THEY LIED TO ME!!!!! I woke up VERY nauseous!! I took one of my nausea pills and feel better for the moment! I was feeling so bad that Jon called in today to take care of me! He already had yesterday off and then he took Friday off, because that is my bad day! But tomorrow, he HAS to go to work! He already has his whole day booked with calls!

Please continue to pray! Pray that I am the 40-50% that this chemo works on! Pray for our spirits to remain up even tho Satan is attacking!! Pray for strength for Jon, to continue to work and balance family without guilt! Also a little prayer request, Jonny (9yrs old), is going to summer camp for a week next week, pray for safety and that he has fun and learns more about our Lord!

Thanks for listening to me ramble on! I appreciate all of you and thank you for sharing in my journey!!