Go to www.perfectlyposh.us/christianne to JOIN MY TEAM TODAY!! This offer/kit ends December 31st!
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
JOIN POSH NOW!!
I had to share this!! I would be greedy if I didn't! I started selling Perfectly Posh in September! I went in blindly without knowing much about it! I am excited to tell you that I have made money for my family, new friends and have been able to share my testimony at the end of my Posh parties! God is so good! He is in every detail of my life, including my new business! I encourage you to join my team NOW! The kit is the best one I have seen and there is a new 90 day training academy called "Posh Prep Academy" which walks you through everything and helps you grow your business! It's only $99 to join and that includes over $280 in Posh's number 1 selling products AND the business essentials to get your business going! They have included 2 of every product to do with what you would like, sell one and use one for yourself, use one for samples and display the other, whatever you want to do... Posh will let you do! THIS IS YOUR BUSINESS!!
Go to www.perfectlyposh.us/christianne to JOIN MY TEAM TODAY!! This offer/kit ends December 31st!
Go to www.perfectlyposh.us/christianne to JOIN MY TEAM TODAY!! This offer/kit ends December 31st!
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
A very Happy Thanksgiving!
http://OK... I am a big wimp! I backed out of the MRI. This is the first time I denied a test or any kind of treatment. I prayed long and hard and had a peace about not doing it. Dr P told me that there was really nothing more he could do for me that he isn't already doing. So why bother putting me through even more stress by doing the MRI? So I called and cancelled. I decided to try to help my back out a little by cutting down on lifting things, which included my almost 4 year old, who is the size of a 6 year old! She still climbs up into my lap all the time, but picking her up only happens when it is necessary.
So why am I so cheerful, when I am usually a huge grump on chemo days... I got GREAT news today!! Let me go back a couple of weeks. Last chemo treatment, my blood pressure was through the roof!!! Like 189/95 high. I didn't really think anything about it at the time. I have struggled with high bp for a while, so it was nothing new. I knew in order to have the Avastin, my bp would have to be in a normal range. Avastin causes high bp, so if you start out with high bp, you can imagine what could happen. So, I go to infusion and my infusion nurse says that she doesn't think I should get the Avastin bc she could not get my bp to lower. By this time, by body has went into defense mode. What this means is, most cancer patients suffer with a condition that makes them either very sleepy or very sick when they think about or go to chemo. I fall asleep! I don't just mean dozing off... Full blown snore fest. While in the chair, I hadn't even received any form of meds yets, and I was completely out. I did sort of wake up to my nurse raising my arm above my head while taking my bp and it still wasn't going down. After many attempts of trying everything to get it to go down, it finally worked. So I get plugged in and I receive the chemo. I get home and sleep the day away. That night (around 2am) I feel funny. Blurry vision, slight headache and just weird. I take my bp and it is 198/105! We call the nurses advice line and leave a message and never hear back. Long story short, after 2 days of calling the dr multiple times with no return call, calling my chemo nurse and the nurses advice line, we get a call back from the dr's front desk. I answer and she tells me I need to come in for a CT Scan as soon as possible. At this point, I am on the verge of a mental break down!! I scream into the phone, "WHAT THE HECK DOES A CT SCAN HAVE TO DO WITH HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE?" She was taken back because I am sooooo not that person who yells at someone for no reason. She tells me to hold on while she talks to the dr. She says (in a very snarky tone) "Well, he told you not to be surprised that he would order a ct scan if you had a jump in numbers!" My head was spinning at this point... What the heck was going on? Then she said, "Oh and the dr has sent you a new prescription of blood pressure medication and it is waiting for you at the pharmacy." I make the appointment for the CT scan and curiosity gets the best of me. I tell Jon to call back my chemo nurse and ask what my numbers were. He calls her and she says, "Are you sure you really want to know?" That can't be good! So Jon told her to let us know. She said my numbers jumped from 160 to 201.9 in a matter of 3 weeks time. So, they again tell us, "We need to see how much the cancer has grown and/or spread." I have NEVER been so nervous about a ct in all my life. I don't know what made this one so much different than all the other times. But, I AM SCARED TO DEATH. I do the ct and the tech tells me that they put a rush on my orders and the dr will have it in the morning. The next 24 hours were the longest in my ENTIRE life. We call the dr 3 times that day with no response. Finally at 2pm, his head nurse calls me. She said, "Ok Christianne, Dr Paneres says everything looks good! There is no new growth or spreading, so we are going to keep going with the regiment you have been on and we will see you in a couple weeks." I just start crying hysterically on the phone, so much so that I freak Helen (my nurse) out! I said, "WAIT WHAT?" She said, "didn't you hear me? You are fine! Whats wrong?" So I went on to tell her the whole story leading up to that point and she said, "If I am the one calling you, just know it is good news! I can't tell people bad news anymore, I would end up crying with the patient!" So now I know if dr P calls... that is not good!
Fast forward to today, I go to my appointment and he lets me know once again, everything is good! He says so good in fact that I now only see the dr every 6 weeks instead of every 3 weeks. He said it is pointless to go by my CEA numbers because they are just not accurate for me. So with that I push the envelope a little bit. I told him my next chemo lands on my daughter's birthday and if I PROMISE to still take my chemo pills, could I please skip my infusion for the month of December. He said YES!!!!! So this is a very HAPPY Thanksgiving and an even better CHRISTMAS! I do not have to go in for chemo until January 7th of 2014! :)
So, I have to brag a little about my Posh "career". I have hit ALL my goals, every month. I have received 2 awards already and have 2 more on the way. I have decided that since I am doing so well, that I am pretty much going to just do outside/online orders and only 1 event for the month of December. If you are thinking you would like to start earning a little more cash, I URGE you to try Posh! The products honestly sell themselves and they are all natural and safe for everyone. I have 3 parties scheduled for January so far and if you would like to learn more about Posh or want to schedule a party just hit this link! http://www.perfectlyposh.us/repsites/frm_bridge.aspx?bridge=JOIN&id=4710
YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT! If the link is not lit up and you can't click on it, copy and paste it! :)
So why am I so cheerful, when I am usually a huge grump on chemo days... I got GREAT news today!! Let me go back a couple of weeks. Last chemo treatment, my blood pressure was through the roof!!! Like 189/95 high. I didn't really think anything about it at the time. I have struggled with high bp for a while, so it was nothing new. I knew in order to have the Avastin, my bp would have to be in a normal range. Avastin causes high bp, so if you start out with high bp, you can imagine what could happen. So, I go to infusion and my infusion nurse says that she doesn't think I should get the Avastin bc she could not get my bp to lower. By this time, by body has went into defense mode. What this means is, most cancer patients suffer with a condition that makes them either very sleepy or very sick when they think about or go to chemo. I fall asleep! I don't just mean dozing off... Full blown snore fest. While in the chair, I hadn't even received any form of meds yets, and I was completely out. I did sort of wake up to my nurse raising my arm above my head while taking my bp and it still wasn't going down. After many attempts of trying everything to get it to go down, it finally worked. So I get plugged in and I receive the chemo. I get home and sleep the day away. That night (around 2am) I feel funny. Blurry vision, slight headache and just weird. I take my bp and it is 198/105! We call the nurses advice line and leave a message and never hear back. Long story short, after 2 days of calling the dr multiple times with no return call, calling my chemo nurse and the nurses advice line, we get a call back from the dr's front desk. I answer and she tells me I need to come in for a CT Scan as soon as possible. At this point, I am on the verge of a mental break down!! I scream into the phone, "WHAT THE HECK DOES A CT SCAN HAVE TO DO WITH HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE?" She was taken back because I am sooooo not that person who yells at someone for no reason. She tells me to hold on while she talks to the dr. She says (in a very snarky tone) "Well, he told you not to be surprised that he would order a ct scan if you had a jump in numbers!" My head was spinning at this point... What the heck was going on? Then she said, "Oh and the dr has sent you a new prescription of blood pressure medication and it is waiting for you at the pharmacy." I make the appointment for the CT scan and curiosity gets the best of me. I tell Jon to call back my chemo nurse and ask what my numbers were. He calls her and she says, "Are you sure you really want to know?" That can't be good! So Jon told her to let us know. She said my numbers jumped from 160 to 201.9 in a matter of 3 weeks time. So, they again tell us, "We need to see how much the cancer has grown and/or spread." I have NEVER been so nervous about a ct in all my life. I don't know what made this one so much different than all the other times. But, I AM SCARED TO DEATH. I do the ct and the tech tells me that they put a rush on my orders and the dr will have it in the morning. The next 24 hours were the longest in my ENTIRE life. We call the dr 3 times that day with no response. Finally at 2pm, his head nurse calls me. She said, "Ok Christianne, Dr Paneres says everything looks good! There is no new growth or spreading, so we are going to keep going with the regiment you have been on and we will see you in a couple weeks." I just start crying hysterically on the phone, so much so that I freak Helen (my nurse) out! I said, "WAIT WHAT?" She said, "didn't you hear me? You are fine! Whats wrong?" So I went on to tell her the whole story leading up to that point and she said, "If I am the one calling you, just know it is good news! I can't tell people bad news anymore, I would end up crying with the patient!" So now I know if dr P calls... that is not good!
Fast forward to today, I go to my appointment and he lets me know once again, everything is good! He says so good in fact that I now only see the dr every 6 weeks instead of every 3 weeks. He said it is pointless to go by my CEA numbers because they are just not accurate for me. So with that I push the envelope a little bit. I told him my next chemo lands on my daughter's birthday and if I PROMISE to still take my chemo pills, could I please skip my infusion for the month of December. He said YES!!!!! So this is a very HAPPY Thanksgiving and an even better CHRISTMAS! I do not have to go in for chemo until January 7th of 2014! :)
So, I have to brag a little about my Posh "career". I have hit ALL my goals, every month. I have received 2 awards already and have 2 more on the way. I have decided that since I am doing so well, that I am pretty much going to just do outside/online orders and only 1 event for the month of December. If you are thinking you would like to start earning a little more cash, I URGE you to try Posh! The products honestly sell themselves and they are all natural and safe for everyone. I have 3 parties scheduled for January so far and if you would like to learn more about Posh or want to schedule a party just hit this link! http://www.perfectlyposh.us/repsites/frm_bridge.aspx?bridge=JOIN&id=4710
YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT! If the link is not lit up and you can't click on it, copy and paste it! :)
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Time flies... when you are busy!!
I seriously don't know where to begin... Lets go back to this past summer. I took the Summer "off" from chemo to be somewhat normal with the kids. We did A LOT! We went on vacations to the lake, we played at the splash park, 3 Vacation Bible Schools, Knott's Berry Farm and much more! I was only doing my chemo pills which I really have no side effects from. When the kids went back to school, I had a CT Scan and the dr warned me that my numbers went from the 60's to 160! So, we were expecting there to be growth and maybe even spreading, but it was worth it for the time I had with my kids. The results came back and everything was the same! It hadn't grown even a little bit. So he added Avastin to my regiment. He said I will be having CT's every 9 weeks and I can stay off the chemo that makes me very sick, until my cancer starts growing/sharing. PRAISE GOD FOR THAT!
I have been dealing with a lot of back/leg pain recently. It is so bad that I have to have my pain pills next to my bed and I take them as soon as I wake up and wait for them to kick in before I can get out of bed. It is the lower lumbar region. I told the dr about it and let him know I upped my pain pills myself and I was (am) still in pain. He said he doesn't think that it is cancer related. He said that I need to remember my body isn't what I want it to be and I need to slow down. (BOY! He just doesn't get me, does he?) He thinks that it may be a slipped disc. So, I have a 2 and a half hour MRI on Thursday the 24th. I am really nervous to do an MRI because I am pretty claustrophobic! I hate CT's and I am only in the machine for about 15 minutes! I am thinking of backing out. I think I may rather live with this horrible pain than do the test! So pray for that for me too please.
My hair... Since going off the chemo, my hair is growing back pretty quickly. In fact, I even just had a hair cut to "shape it up" a little bit. It was starting to look too Simon Cowell for me! I am going to keep it short because eventually I know I will go back on the chemo and more than likely lose it again. This time it may not be such a shock because it is short to begin with.
We are still really struggling financially... My mom recently had a tumor removed from her spinal cord. So she can not take care of the kids the way she was before, so Jon is missing more work than ever. We are over $30,000 behind what we usually are this time last year. I was sick of sitting by, letting life pass me by and being the cause of my family losing out on so much because I am sick and Jon has to take time off to take care of me. So, pretty much blindly, I joined the company PERFECTLY POSH! If you are on Facebook, you are pretty much sick of hearing about it from me! Sorry about that, but I just love it and it truly has changed my life! I am doing things I have not ever done in my life! I have actually gone to a store by myself without any anxiety, I stand in front of people for about 2 hours talking about our products and giving people facials and answering questions. I know God is using Posh for me to reach out to people and give my testimony. I pray that God always gives me an opportunity during my parties sometime to talk about what God is doing in my life. I feel so alive doing this! Not only do I get some "me time", I am making money for my family, meeting new people and get to witness to them! If you would like to check out my website and our all natural products, go to www.perfectlyposh.us/christianne So far I have had 2 parties (and 3 more already booked) met 2 goals that the company has set for its consultants, I hit enough in sales that I am getting a promotion and a raise, I have 3 team members who have signed up under me, I along with my sister have a charity event coming up to raise money for a little girl who was born with NKH and I went to a convention in San Diego! All within the last 40 days! I love Posh and honestly think that God placed it in my lap and great things will come from it!
On the kid front, they are doing well! Caylee has started at Head Start and goes every day from 8am to 11:30am. It is such a blessing because they feed her breakfast and lunch and she is getting the interaction with other kids her age, while getting ready for Kindergarten! She is my little Posher. She is a real girly girl and can't keep her hands off my products. For Christmas, I am going to make her a little Posh basket that is just for her. She loves to try everything out and she helps me make my samples to give out to people! She has not had 1 UTI since her surgery and is such a happy and energetic child.
Joey, he is still having a rough time with things. He has been to 5 different counselors. The latest one was through the school and they called to let me know that HE decided he didn't want to go anymore and she also said there was really no point because she can not get him to open up at all! (Exactly what the last 4 counselors have told us) He is such a sweet boy and he is very attached to me. He is also having a little bit of a hard time with mommy "working". He knows how to pull at my heart strings and told me that all I care about is Posh and working! I explained to him that I work at home to be close to him and he can be with me the whole time I am working and even help me at times! That made him feel better and he hasn't complained since then.
Jonny is back in soccer with Jon as his assistant coach! Like Jon needed one more thing on his plate, but it has been awesome for both of them! They are bonding even more through it and they both have an outlet to get their frustrations out! He goes to counseling through his school every Tuesday and he really likes it. He is a full blown pre-teen monster!! Oh my!! I was not ready for it! LOL!! He is at the stage where his friends know more than we do and he knows WAY MORE than we do! He thinks it hysterical when we let him know that we know what is best for him. We get a LOT of.. Well Jacob said.... UGH!! Sometimes its more than I can handle! I just pray and give it to God and explain to him WE want the very best for him and we would NEVER steer him in the wrong direction. Our new dilemma is when and what do we tell him about "the birds and the bees"!? I know he is still pretty innocent about knowing things in that department so I feel like if we fill his head with things, then curiosity will get the best of him! I obviously do not want him learning from his friends anything we don't want him to know, but I am not stupid and don't want to be unrealistic, that is going to happen if we don't teach him how to respect women first. Jon and I did a daddy/daughter date and a mommy/son date one night. Jon brought Caylee flowers and the boys got me and my mom flowers. On our date, I taught the boys to open the car door for women, bring them flowers before the dinner, pull out a woman's chair and be respectful at the dinner table at all times!
I do have a very important prayer request. Our 6 year old next door neighbor, Dylan, was diagnosed with Leukemia! He is having chemo every 4 DAYS! His face is a little swollen from the steroids, he is SO SICK FROM THE CHEMO!! Last night, I was in my room and I heard screaming and crying. A sound I will never forget. I dropped everything and started yelling for everyone to run outside something is WRONG!! I honestly thought one of my boys were hit by a car or something! My dad, Jon and I run outside to find Lisa (Dylans mom) rocking Dylan in her lap as he is screaming, "MOMMY MAKE ME BETTER, MAKE IT STOP!!! I AM SO SICK MOMMY, I CAN'T DO THIS!!" I can not describe the horrors of chemo. Its unlike ANYTHING I have experienced in my life. She (his mom) was just sobbing and rocking him. She said every night at around 6pm, he just melts down like this and she doesn't know how to console him. She thought letting him sit on the front porch and get some air would help him. I told her (begged her) to take a walk around the block and clear her mind and just get out. She told me she would NEVER leave him. I, as a mom, get that completely. Cancer is from the devil... thankfully they caught the leukemia pretty quickly and he has a 95% chance of being completely cancer free by the end of November! So please please pray for Dylan and his whole family! I am so thankful that it is me and not my kids who are sick! I would do anything to take Dylan's pain away! Lisa is my hero!! She is an amazing mom, she always has been. But to have to endure what they are going through is unfathomable!
Well, I am going to wrap this up, Jon is already snoring away! LOL! I better get to sleep! Morning comes too early in this household!
Keep praying, God is listening and is really keeping us together!! But like the dr constantly likes to remind me, I can be doing wonderfully one day and 2 weeks later, I could be gone! Pray for my CT scans to keep coming back good, pray for my kids and husband to keep their sanity, pray for my MRI and pray for little Dylan! Thanks everyone!!
I have been dealing with a lot of back/leg pain recently. It is so bad that I have to have my pain pills next to my bed and I take them as soon as I wake up and wait for them to kick in before I can get out of bed. It is the lower lumbar region. I told the dr about it and let him know I upped my pain pills myself and I was (am) still in pain. He said he doesn't think that it is cancer related. He said that I need to remember my body isn't what I want it to be and I need to slow down. (BOY! He just doesn't get me, does he?) He thinks that it may be a slipped disc. So, I have a 2 and a half hour MRI on Thursday the 24th. I am really nervous to do an MRI because I am pretty claustrophobic! I hate CT's and I am only in the machine for about 15 minutes! I am thinking of backing out. I think I may rather live with this horrible pain than do the test! So pray for that for me too please.
My hair... Since going off the chemo, my hair is growing back pretty quickly. In fact, I even just had a hair cut to "shape it up" a little bit. It was starting to look too Simon Cowell for me! I am going to keep it short because eventually I know I will go back on the chemo and more than likely lose it again. This time it may not be such a shock because it is short to begin with.
We are still really struggling financially... My mom recently had a tumor removed from her spinal cord. So she can not take care of the kids the way she was before, so Jon is missing more work than ever. We are over $30,000 behind what we usually are this time last year. I was sick of sitting by, letting life pass me by and being the cause of my family losing out on so much because I am sick and Jon has to take time off to take care of me. So, pretty much blindly, I joined the company PERFECTLY POSH! If you are on Facebook, you are pretty much sick of hearing about it from me! Sorry about that, but I just love it and it truly has changed my life! I am doing things I have not ever done in my life! I have actually gone to a store by myself without any anxiety, I stand in front of people for about 2 hours talking about our products and giving people facials and answering questions. I know God is using Posh for me to reach out to people and give my testimony. I pray that God always gives me an opportunity during my parties sometime to talk about what God is doing in my life. I feel so alive doing this! Not only do I get some "me time", I am making money for my family, meeting new people and get to witness to them! If you would like to check out my website and our all natural products, go to www.perfectlyposh.us/christianne So far I have had 2 parties (and 3 more already booked) met 2 goals that the company has set for its consultants, I hit enough in sales that I am getting a promotion and a raise, I have 3 team members who have signed up under me, I along with my sister have a charity event coming up to raise money for a little girl who was born with NKH and I went to a convention in San Diego! All within the last 40 days! I love Posh and honestly think that God placed it in my lap and great things will come from it!
On the kid front, they are doing well! Caylee has started at Head Start and goes every day from 8am to 11:30am. It is such a blessing because they feed her breakfast and lunch and she is getting the interaction with other kids her age, while getting ready for Kindergarten! She is my little Posher. She is a real girly girl and can't keep her hands off my products. For Christmas, I am going to make her a little Posh basket that is just for her. She loves to try everything out and she helps me make my samples to give out to people! She has not had 1 UTI since her surgery and is such a happy and energetic child.
Joey, he is still having a rough time with things. He has been to 5 different counselors. The latest one was through the school and they called to let me know that HE decided he didn't want to go anymore and she also said there was really no point because she can not get him to open up at all! (Exactly what the last 4 counselors have told us) He is such a sweet boy and he is very attached to me. He is also having a little bit of a hard time with mommy "working". He knows how to pull at my heart strings and told me that all I care about is Posh and working! I explained to him that I work at home to be close to him and he can be with me the whole time I am working and even help me at times! That made him feel better and he hasn't complained since then.
Jonny is back in soccer with Jon as his assistant coach! Like Jon needed one more thing on his plate, but it has been awesome for both of them! They are bonding even more through it and they both have an outlet to get their frustrations out! He goes to counseling through his school every Tuesday and he really likes it. He is a full blown pre-teen monster!! Oh my!! I was not ready for it! LOL!! He is at the stage where his friends know more than we do and he knows WAY MORE than we do! He thinks it hysterical when we let him know that we know what is best for him. We get a LOT of.. Well Jacob said.... UGH!! Sometimes its more than I can handle! I just pray and give it to God and explain to him WE want the very best for him and we would NEVER steer him in the wrong direction. Our new dilemma is when and what do we tell him about "the birds and the bees"!? I know he is still pretty innocent about knowing things in that department so I feel like if we fill his head with things, then curiosity will get the best of him! I obviously do not want him learning from his friends anything we don't want him to know, but I am not stupid and don't want to be unrealistic, that is going to happen if we don't teach him how to respect women first. Jon and I did a daddy/daughter date and a mommy/son date one night. Jon brought Caylee flowers and the boys got me and my mom flowers. On our date, I taught the boys to open the car door for women, bring them flowers before the dinner, pull out a woman's chair and be respectful at the dinner table at all times!
I do have a very important prayer request. Our 6 year old next door neighbor, Dylan, was diagnosed with Leukemia! He is having chemo every 4 DAYS! His face is a little swollen from the steroids, he is SO SICK FROM THE CHEMO!! Last night, I was in my room and I heard screaming and crying. A sound I will never forget. I dropped everything and started yelling for everyone to run outside something is WRONG!! I honestly thought one of my boys were hit by a car or something! My dad, Jon and I run outside to find Lisa (Dylans mom) rocking Dylan in her lap as he is screaming, "MOMMY MAKE ME BETTER, MAKE IT STOP!!! I AM SO SICK MOMMY, I CAN'T DO THIS!!" I can not describe the horrors of chemo. Its unlike ANYTHING I have experienced in my life. She (his mom) was just sobbing and rocking him. She said every night at around 6pm, he just melts down like this and she doesn't know how to console him. She thought letting him sit on the front porch and get some air would help him. I told her (begged her) to take a walk around the block and clear her mind and just get out. She told me she would NEVER leave him. I, as a mom, get that completely. Cancer is from the devil... thankfully they caught the leukemia pretty quickly and he has a 95% chance of being completely cancer free by the end of November! So please please pray for Dylan and his whole family! I am so thankful that it is me and not my kids who are sick! I would do anything to take Dylan's pain away! Lisa is my hero!! She is an amazing mom, she always has been. But to have to endure what they are going through is unfathomable!
Well, I am going to wrap this up, Jon is already snoring away! LOL! I better get to sleep! Morning comes too early in this household!
Keep praying, God is listening and is really keeping us together!! But like the dr constantly likes to remind me, I can be doing wonderfully one day and 2 weeks later, I could be gone! Pray for my CT scans to keep coming back good, pray for my kids and husband to keep their sanity, pray for my MRI and pray for little Dylan! Thanks everyone!!
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
WOW! LONG TIME, NO POST!!
Oh my word!! I can not believe that I have taken so much time off from posting. There is actually a good reason for it... spending time with my family and making memories!!
Pretty much I have been just living life!! I went on a friends only (no kids!!!) trip to Las Vegas! My bestie paid for a get away for us and it was a blast! I highly recommend a friends trip to just relax and exhale for a little bit! I needed it. Thank you Krista, it was a weekend I will never forget. We went on our annual family lake trip to Laughlin, we will be going another 2 times to Laughlin this summer. Other than that, we have been a normal family again because I have not been too sick since stopping the IV chemo drugs. I also organized a last minute block party for the 4th of July and we ended up having over 50 family and friends over. IT WAS AMAZING!!!
On the battle front, I am off my IV chemo for a couple months while the kids are out of school. I couldn't imagine another summer on chemo. I had not had a break in almost a year. So, after having my last scan, Dr P said I could stay off chemo, unless I had a jump in numbers. So far I have not had chemo for the last 3 sessions!!! YAY ME!! My numbers are remaining stable, I am still doing the pills for 2 weeks on,1 week off. Around the beginning of June, I needed to shave my head! I had gone to the salon and had my hair cut and dyed by a friend. It was thin at the time (around mid May), but still doable! All of the sudden, it just started falling out like crazy! I tried everything to keep it. Special shampoos, sprays, and even a dark brown powder to fill in the bald spots. But, once there were more bald spots than hair, I knew I had lost that battle! I was SO insecure about my hair when it was thinning, I didn't even want to get close to anyone and actually started wearing scarves and head coverings (thank you Kira, for buying my favorite head cover for me!) I looked like a zombie straight out of the Thriller video!! I talked to the kids and Jon and they were not ready for me to shave it. Finally after sitting them all down, I said, "Do you honestly all think my hair looks better this way than it would look shaved?" They all agreed that shaving my hair would look better than what it looked like then. Plus, I think we were all done with my horrible self-esteem and the feeling that it was controlling me! So, the day came... the clippers came out. In my backyard with my aunts, neighbors, husband and kids, I shaved my head! Let me tell you, I have never felt prettier than that day!! My hair looked that bad before I shaved it. We are all so used to it now, that sometimes I forget and walk outside to talk to the neighbors and wont have a scarf, wig or hat on!! Oops! I did scare some of the neighbor kids in the beginning but now they don't even blink an eye when they are playing here. I doubt if the kids around here are going to remember me as the "mom with cancer", but more like the crazy mom who makes us go home and brush our teeth or do a chore before I can play. What can I say, I want all children to have good health. I do it out of love. Jon makes fun of me all the time about that. He laughs and says I am the neighborhood mommy! They listen, run home, brush their hair or clean their rooms and I will praise them on a job well done when they get back! I even had to tell one little one, "OK, its been 3 hours, you need to go home and get a diaper change and then you can come right back!!" NO LIE!! OK! I don't know how I got here, but lets focus... No chemo, No hair, NO PROBLEMS! So, I am just cruising right now. My numbers are not going up or down, my energy level is WAY up. I am a cleaning FANATIC right now. I know that soon, I will be knocked back on my butt. So I am trying to get everything done now that I wanted to do for months.
Now onto the home front.... Our prayer (my and Jon's) since the 1st of the year, has been for me to not need a hospital trip for 2013. Well, so far my prayers have been answered, but maybe at the expense of others. Since we uttered those words for the past 7 months, we have had quite a rocky 2013 in this family. Oh I have been in the hospital, more times than I can probably count this year, just as a visitor, not the patient. In January, (the 28th, my mom and uncles birthdays) My grandma suffered a horrible stroke at a family party and was in the hospital about (maybe even over) a week before she passed away. During one of those long days at the hospital, while receiving some tough news about grandma, my mom suffered a minor stroke right there in the hospital. She has since been in the hospital a total of 4 times (all strokes) since February. Then, Jonny took a trip to the ER (the same day my mom suffered her first stroke and my grandmother was still in the hospital as well) because he broke his arm by getting it in caught in the car door. Then, about a month later, my cousin was skateboarding (he is over 40, but he still has the moves!) and he fell pretty bad, then he walked around for a while when he finally realized the pain was not going away, he took a trip to the ER. They told him he had broke his neck. So he was in the hospital (a couple doors down from where my grandma was).He is still wearing a neck brace, even now. Then, in April, we found out Caylee would need surgery for her UTI's. Her surgery was in June. At least it wasn't St Jude it was performed at CHOC! We got a change of scenery for that one. (PRAISE REPORT... THE SURGERY WORKED AND SHE ONLY GOES BACK FOR A RECHECK IN A YEAR FROM NOW.) The end of June rolls around, kids are out of school, so its time for our annual family trip to the Lake. Like every year we stay in a hotel in Laughlin, Well the day we packed up to leave Laughlin, my cousin's youngest son, just barely 1 year old, pulled a cup of hot coffee on himself and off to the hospital he went. That poor baby went thru so much. 3 hospitals, an ambulance ride and then back here in Orange County for a 5 day stay at UCI's burn center. He just came home when, one of my other friends (my best friend's sister) had a pretty big surgery, I couldn't visit her, but I let her know I was praying for her. Then, just this week my friend Susie, had surgery. Her surgery was on Monday, July 15th , didn't go exactly how she would have liked, but she is doing well. Well, after her surgery and once Jon got home from work, we ran down to St Jude to visit her. Its hard getting to do something as little as going to the hospital. With everyone sick or working it, is such a feat for us to leave the house, we need to find someone who can watch the kids so we can make little trips!! With my mom now having random strokes, she can't watch the kids anymore and we don't want her to ever be alone because if if happens when we are all gone, who would call 911 or run her to St Jude. So we have to work around everyone's schedules now. Its gonna get ugly when soccer starts and I am back on chemo. I don't know how we are going to do it! Please pray for that all to work out for us! So back to visiting Sue, we were there hanging out with her but knew we had to get back a decent hour because my dad had errands to run and we needed to be home with mom and the kids. So we get home from visiting Susie, boys are in bed while our night owl (Caylee) is watching Mickey Mouse. Jon and I start our nightly "Just you and I" nightly routine. Caylee gets to watch 1 Mickey Mouse Club House before bed. Then off she goes to sleep, we are watching bachelorette (yes, it could be worse!!) Then, we get into jams, I do my Monday "beauty" routine... brush teeth, wash face, mud masque, under eye cream, vitamin C serum, all over moisturizer with 30 spf (because I am on chemo, my face needs it everyday) Then onto my nails, took off the polish and started polishing my nails (can't afford to get them down anymore, especially where you pay $50 for a mani/pedi!!) In the middle of painting my nails. My dad BANGS on the door!!! He starts saying "Get up, Get up!! Mom is having another stroke." I rushed into her bedroom started trying to revive her. She was not responding. I started loudly, up in her face saying, I was going to call 911, if didn't start responded. NOTHING, she didn't even open an eye to acknowledge me. Then I screamed it in her face a minute later and Jon told me I was being too loud, the kids were asleep. I could tell in his eyes, he was scared! So I ignored the comment and started yelling in my moms face more to rouse her. My dad even came over to try to get her to at least open her eyes or wiggle a toe! Then God smiled upon us, I had just gave in and told my dad that we should call 911!! Then my mom started moving her feet then next legs and in that order, her eyes opened. By the time we got her sitting up she said "I don't need an ambulance, just take me in our car." So off to the hospital she went, with my aunt and I a few minutes behind her and then my brother also met us there. THIS WAS HER 4TH ONE! So I stayed with her and then labs and scans all came back good, so she was free to go. So we got ready to boogie out and I told my mom regardless that its 3am, I am going up to see Susie, so my aunt wanted to go with me, so we went and visited her and said good night. Its only July, we have 5 more months in this year! Please pray with me for the safety of my loved ones to stay out of the hospital as well as keeping me out also.
That about sums things up for right now. Jonny leaves for his sleep away summer camp for a week on Monday. I need to get him packed tonight. He has attended 3 VBS programs and starts soccer soon. Joey is doing well on his meds. They are a life saver. He sticks to me like glue though. He will spend the night away from me to spend the night with his cousins (Jordan and Roman) He refused to go to 2 of the other VBS programs, but I made him go to the one at our church. So, we have been spending a lot of time together. One day, both of the other kids were busy, so I took Joey on a date to Starbucks. (Because of my anxiety) I have never taken just 1 kid out somewhere. He was such a gentleman, he opened doors for me, went up and got the drinks (which he had the guy put his name on) and we sat in Starbucks and just talked for a little bit until it was time to pick up Caylee. Now onto my maniac!! Miss Caylee is now in dance class! (One of my bucket list items is to see my daughter in dance and have a recital! She loves it!! She asks everyday if she can go to dance! She is so cute in her leotard and tap shoes. Her surgery went "beautifully" as the surgeon put it. He said she healed up exactly as he hoped. Now there are no excuses why she can't be potty trained. SO THE HAMMER IS COMING DOWN ON THAT LITTLE ONE. She will be fully potty trained, by 30 years old, if I have anything to do about it! LOL!
My prayer requests are to stay off chemo for just 1 more session!!! If the dr makes me have it next Friday, it will mess up my plans for our next vacation. Also pray that Jonny has a great time at camp, learning about God and getting closer to Him and that he returns safe and sound. Please pray for Caylee to finally potty train, she is so hard headed and pray her UTI nightmare is really over. Pray for Joey's anxiety. Pray for a peace to come over him that it is ok to be away from me and that he has the courage to do things on his own. I think he may be a little co-dependent using his brother as his crutch. Pray for Jon's work to get busy. We are having a rough time financially still, even with him back to work more with me being off chemo. I thought we would start getting the checks we used to get and we have not been seeing those numbers still. Lastly pray for our family to have safe trips to the lake. The past 2 years our family (extended) have not had the greatest luck out there. Thanks for listening and keep praying, GOD IS LISTENING!!
Pretty much I have been just living life!! I went on a friends only (no kids!!!) trip to Las Vegas! My bestie paid for a get away for us and it was a blast! I highly recommend a friends trip to just relax and exhale for a little bit! I needed it. Thank you Krista, it was a weekend I will never forget. We went on our annual family lake trip to Laughlin, we will be going another 2 times to Laughlin this summer. Other than that, we have been a normal family again because I have not been too sick since stopping the IV chemo drugs. I also organized a last minute block party for the 4th of July and we ended up having over 50 family and friends over. IT WAS AMAZING!!!
On the battle front, I am off my IV chemo for a couple months while the kids are out of school. I couldn't imagine another summer on chemo. I had not had a break in almost a year. So, after having my last scan, Dr P said I could stay off chemo, unless I had a jump in numbers. So far I have not had chemo for the last 3 sessions!!! YAY ME!! My numbers are remaining stable, I am still doing the pills for 2 weeks on,1 week off. Around the beginning of June, I needed to shave my head! I had gone to the salon and had my hair cut and dyed by a friend. It was thin at the time (around mid May), but still doable! All of the sudden, it just started falling out like crazy! I tried everything to keep it. Special shampoos, sprays, and even a dark brown powder to fill in the bald spots. But, once there were more bald spots than hair, I knew I had lost that battle! I was SO insecure about my hair when it was thinning, I didn't even want to get close to anyone and actually started wearing scarves and head coverings (thank you Kira, for buying my favorite head cover for me!) I looked like a zombie straight out of the Thriller video!! I talked to the kids and Jon and they were not ready for me to shave it. Finally after sitting them all down, I said, "Do you honestly all think my hair looks better this way than it would look shaved?" They all agreed that shaving my hair would look better than what it looked like then. Plus, I think we were all done with my horrible self-esteem and the feeling that it was controlling me! So, the day came... the clippers came out. In my backyard with my aunts, neighbors, husband and kids, I shaved my head! Let me tell you, I have never felt prettier than that day!! My hair looked that bad before I shaved it. We are all so used to it now, that sometimes I forget and walk outside to talk to the neighbors and wont have a scarf, wig or hat on!! Oops! I did scare some of the neighbor kids in the beginning but now they don't even blink an eye when they are playing here. I doubt if the kids around here are going to remember me as the "mom with cancer", but more like the crazy mom who makes us go home and brush our teeth or do a chore before I can play. What can I say, I want all children to have good health. I do it out of love. Jon makes fun of me all the time about that. He laughs and says I am the neighborhood mommy! They listen, run home, brush their hair or clean their rooms and I will praise them on a job well done when they get back! I even had to tell one little one, "OK, its been 3 hours, you need to go home and get a diaper change and then you can come right back!!" NO LIE!! OK! I don't know how I got here, but lets focus... No chemo, No hair, NO PROBLEMS! So, I am just cruising right now. My numbers are not going up or down, my energy level is WAY up. I am a cleaning FANATIC right now. I know that soon, I will be knocked back on my butt. So I am trying to get everything done now that I wanted to do for months.
Now onto the home front.... Our prayer (my and Jon's) since the 1st of the year, has been for me to not need a hospital trip for 2013. Well, so far my prayers have been answered, but maybe at the expense of others. Since we uttered those words for the past 7 months, we have had quite a rocky 2013 in this family. Oh I have been in the hospital, more times than I can probably count this year, just as a visitor, not the patient. In January, (the 28th, my mom and uncles birthdays) My grandma suffered a horrible stroke at a family party and was in the hospital about (maybe even over) a week before she passed away. During one of those long days at the hospital, while receiving some tough news about grandma, my mom suffered a minor stroke right there in the hospital. She has since been in the hospital a total of 4 times (all strokes) since February. Then, Jonny took a trip to the ER (the same day my mom suffered her first stroke and my grandmother was still in the hospital as well) because he broke his arm by getting it in caught in the car door. Then, about a month later, my cousin was skateboarding (he is over 40, but he still has the moves!) and he fell pretty bad, then he walked around for a while when he finally realized the pain was not going away, he took a trip to the ER. They told him he had broke his neck. So he was in the hospital (a couple doors down from where my grandma was).He is still wearing a neck brace, even now. Then, in April, we found out Caylee would need surgery for her UTI's. Her surgery was in June. At least it wasn't St Jude it was performed at CHOC! We got a change of scenery for that one. (PRAISE REPORT... THE SURGERY WORKED AND SHE ONLY GOES BACK FOR A RECHECK IN A YEAR FROM NOW.) The end of June rolls around, kids are out of school, so its time for our annual family trip to the Lake. Like every year we stay in a hotel in Laughlin, Well the day we packed up to leave Laughlin, my cousin's youngest son, just barely 1 year old, pulled a cup of hot coffee on himself and off to the hospital he went. That poor baby went thru so much. 3 hospitals, an ambulance ride and then back here in Orange County for a 5 day stay at UCI's burn center. He just came home when, one of my other friends (my best friend's sister) had a pretty big surgery, I couldn't visit her, but I let her know I was praying for her. Then, just this week my friend Susie, had surgery. Her surgery was on Monday, July 15th , didn't go exactly how she would have liked, but she is doing well. Well, after her surgery and once Jon got home from work, we ran down to St Jude to visit her. Its hard getting to do something as little as going to the hospital. With everyone sick or working it, is such a feat for us to leave the house, we need to find someone who can watch the kids so we can make little trips!! With my mom now having random strokes, she can't watch the kids anymore and we don't want her to ever be alone because if if happens when we are all gone, who would call 911 or run her to St Jude. So we have to work around everyone's schedules now. Its gonna get ugly when soccer starts and I am back on chemo. I don't know how we are going to do it! Please pray for that all to work out for us! So back to visiting Sue, we were there hanging out with her but knew we had to get back a decent hour because my dad had errands to run and we needed to be home with mom and the kids. So we get home from visiting Susie, boys are in bed while our night owl (Caylee) is watching Mickey Mouse. Jon and I start our nightly "Just you and I" nightly routine. Caylee gets to watch 1 Mickey Mouse Club House before bed. Then off she goes to sleep, we are watching bachelorette (yes, it could be worse!!) Then, we get into jams, I do my Monday "beauty" routine... brush teeth, wash face, mud masque, under eye cream, vitamin C serum, all over moisturizer with 30 spf (because I am on chemo, my face needs it everyday) Then onto my nails, took off the polish and started polishing my nails (can't afford to get them down anymore, especially where you pay $50 for a mani/pedi!!) In the middle of painting my nails. My dad BANGS on the door!!! He starts saying "Get up, Get up!! Mom is having another stroke." I rushed into her bedroom started trying to revive her. She was not responding. I started loudly, up in her face saying, I was going to call 911, if didn't start responded. NOTHING, she didn't even open an eye to acknowledge me. Then I screamed it in her face a minute later and Jon told me I was being too loud, the kids were asleep. I could tell in his eyes, he was scared! So I ignored the comment and started yelling in my moms face more to rouse her. My dad even came over to try to get her to at least open her eyes or wiggle a toe! Then God smiled upon us, I had just gave in and told my dad that we should call 911!! Then my mom started moving her feet then next legs and in that order, her eyes opened. By the time we got her sitting up she said "I don't need an ambulance, just take me in our car." So off to the hospital she went, with my aunt and I a few minutes behind her and then my brother also met us there. THIS WAS HER 4TH ONE! So I stayed with her and then labs and scans all came back good, so she was free to go. So we got ready to boogie out and I told my mom regardless that its 3am, I am going up to see Susie, so my aunt wanted to go with me, so we went and visited her and said good night. Its only July, we have 5 more months in this year! Please pray with me for the safety of my loved ones to stay out of the hospital as well as keeping me out also.
That about sums things up for right now. Jonny leaves for his sleep away summer camp for a week on Monday. I need to get him packed tonight. He has attended 3 VBS programs and starts soccer soon. Joey is doing well on his meds. They are a life saver. He sticks to me like glue though. He will spend the night away from me to spend the night with his cousins (Jordan and Roman) He refused to go to 2 of the other VBS programs, but I made him go to the one at our church. So, we have been spending a lot of time together. One day, both of the other kids were busy, so I took Joey on a date to Starbucks. (Because of my anxiety) I have never taken just 1 kid out somewhere. He was such a gentleman, he opened doors for me, went up and got the drinks (which he had the guy put his name on) and we sat in Starbucks and just talked for a little bit until it was time to pick up Caylee. Now onto my maniac!! Miss Caylee is now in dance class! (One of my bucket list items is to see my daughter in dance and have a recital! She loves it!! She asks everyday if she can go to dance! She is so cute in her leotard and tap shoes. Her surgery went "beautifully" as the surgeon put it. He said she healed up exactly as he hoped. Now there are no excuses why she can't be potty trained. SO THE HAMMER IS COMING DOWN ON THAT LITTLE ONE. She will be fully potty trained, by 30 years old, if I have anything to do about it! LOL!
My prayer requests are to stay off chemo for just 1 more session!!! If the dr makes me have it next Friday, it will mess up my plans for our next vacation. Also pray that Jonny has a great time at camp, learning about God and getting closer to Him and that he returns safe and sound. Please pray for Caylee to finally potty train, she is so hard headed and pray her UTI nightmare is really over. Pray for Joey's anxiety. Pray for a peace to come over him that it is ok to be away from me and that he has the courage to do things on his own. I think he may be a little co-dependent using his brother as his crutch. Pray for Jon's work to get busy. We are having a rough time financially still, even with him back to work more with me being off chemo. I thought we would start getting the checks we used to get and we have not been seeing those numbers still. Lastly pray for our family to have safe trips to the lake. The past 2 years our family (extended) have not had the greatest luck out there. Thanks for listening and keep praying, GOD IS LISTENING!!
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
FUNDRAISER WAS A SUCCESS!!!
Well, I can not thank all of you enough for the success of the fundraiser we had at Chili's!! We made over $2000!! I will be walking in to chemo tomorrow and writing a big fat check!! I will not receive the check from Chili's for another couple of weeks, so I will be writing another one for them next month too! Again we appreciate every single one of you who donated, prayed and supported us!! We love you all! All glory to God, because we all know he is the real power behind all of this!
Tomorrow is chemo again.. I am not a happy camper. Jon says I usually pick fights with him the night before chemo!!! Who?? ME!!??? I don't believe him! But tonight he is working late, so since I can not aim my emotions at him, I thought I would jump on here and update everyone!! I did realize tonight that this is the longest that I have been on chemo without a break since starting in June of 2011. I have been doing chemo for 8 months straight!!! The longest I had gone without a break before was 4 months! I think I am due for a break. (I know my hair is ready for a break! This is the thinnest my hair has ever been!) I need a fun break, not one that involves a surgery or hospital time. Maybe a nice beach somewhere!
This past weekend I got sick. WOULDN'T YOU KNOW THE ONE WEEKEND JON AND I HAD A BABYSITTER TO TAKE THE KIDS OVERNIGHT AND I GET SICK!!?? What are the odds? Pretty good when you are Christianne Adamik! I think I had over did it at the fundraiser. I literally could hardly walk to the car at the end of the night! I had forgot to eat, drink and take my pills while at the restaurant! After I got home from the fundraiser, I don't even remember how I got into the bath, but an hour after soaking and Jon getting me food, water and my pills, I was a lot better! Anyway, the next day I ended up having a fever of 101.5 and was throwing up! Usually they make you go to the ER, but they said if we could get the fever under control in 2 hours, I could stay home. About an hour after taking all my meds and extra Tylenol, I was feeling much better. I fought the fever on and off for the next few days, but by Sunday night it had broke completely! So I am curious to see if my labs say anything tomorrow. I am not lucky enough to get to skip this round, so I am not getting my hopes up. I have been having more pain lately, in my chest. I thought maybe it was psychological, but a couple days after noticing the increased pain, Jon and I were in our room and the kids were in bed. He kept hearing a weird noise, then he walked closer to me and asked if I could hear it and I said no. He came even closer and looked at me funny and said it was coming from me! I was wheezing and he heard it across the room. So that is something else I need to bring up at tomorrow's appointment. But that shouldn't be too much of a surprise because the cancer in my lungs did grow.
I do have an update on the kids. The school finally stepped in and the boys are now seeing the school's psychologist. They go every Tuesday. They haven't been to their personal counselor in a while because, we just can't afford it. But we really needed to do something about Joey being on Ritalin. This dose is a high one and the doctor said this is the highest dose he is willing to prescribe. Joey's teacher (who I adore and completely trust, she even showed up to the fundraiser!!) and I both agree, this pill is just not working for him. So we made an appointment for Joey to see a psychologist (because they are counselors who can prescribe meds, they sound scarier than they are!) So he goes to see her on April 26th. He is such a good kid! Loves animals and to garden. Today he took his toy gun that makes a loud popping noise and sat on a chair for hours because we had a butterfly hatch out of a cocoon today. He used the gun to scare off birds until the butterfly's wings were strong enough to fly away! That's Joey! On the other hand, if we don't keep him busy, he gets in a mess of trouble! Like jumping off the roof, trouble!
Jonny is up and down. He started bringing and reading his Bible to school. He came home one night and told me he was reading his Bible at school because he ran out of books there that interested him (so in other words, they ran out of Star Wars books!) At first the Negative Nelly in me said, "YA RIGHT!?" Of course, I would never say that to him, so what did I do because I didn't believe him? I quizzed him. He answered every question I threw at him! I was still in disbelief. So finally I asked him about Adam and Eve (because he said he had already read that and was reading about Noah already) I asked him why they got into trouble. He said, 'That's easy mom. The snake gave Eve the fruit because if they ate the fruit, they would know as much as God knows! So she ate the fruit and gave it to Adam. He ate it and then they realized they were NAKED (he said it like snake without the S) and then they made clothes out of fig leaves and was banished from the garden!" I started crying!!! I felt so bad, he looked at me like I was CRAZY!! He said, "What? was I wrong?!" I said, "No baby!!! I was wrong!!!" As soon as he said NAKED I knew he was telling the truth because he said it like its spelled not how its pronounced!! I felt like the snake!!! I apologized for quizzing him and he told me he liked it. Then proceeded to tell me the rest of what he had read! Even facts like how old Noah was when he died! I felt like the biggest jerk. Then he told me that everyone kept asking him to look up different verses! I said, "That is a great way to witness and tell people about Jesus!" He said that he told his friends to bring their Bibles and then they would read it together and talk about what they were reading. I told him that was called a Bible study!! He laughed so hard! I said, "what is so funny?!" He said, "I didn't know thats what a Bible study was!!" LOL!! So, a couple of days go by and Jon goes to Jonny's parent/teacher conference. The teacher asked if we were aware that Jonny was taking his Bible to school and leading a Bible study!!!?? Jon said, he got defensive and said, "Yes we are! Is that a problem?" The teacher replied, "NOT WITH ME!! I am backing him up 100%, so far he has done everything right and they can't stop him!!" He then informed Jon that he was actually going to go to seminary, but his wife got pregnant and he decided to become a teacher! He also said that Jonny has been reading scripture in front of the class and he lets him answer student's questions!! My son the evangelist! I am so proud! It is so comforting to know, BOTH of the boy's teachers are Christians! Makes sending them to public school a little easier! He is struggling with believing he has cancer. We took him to the doctor to ease his mind! We have to make another appointment for him to have the lab work done to prove to him, he is healthy! I pray he does not worry his entire life that he will one day end up with colon cancer!
Then there is Caylee, she is still struggling with her urinary stuff. Today she went to CHOC and had an ultrasound done and an appointment with Dr Antoine Khoury! One of the top Urologists around. They scheduled her for a Cystoscopy, bilateral deflux today. If anyone knows anything about that procedure, please email me!! (You know I will be googling the heck out of it also!) Her surgery is next month at CHOC hospital. She will only be under for 10 minutes, but when it is your baby, 10mins feels like 10 hours!! The doctor said that this is the last procedure she will have before they have to start doing an even more invasive surgery, where they actually cut her!! She will be on a new prescription to keep the UTI's at bay until her surgery. I know God has a special plan for her. He holds my whole family in his loving hands!!
On a financial note, we are still struggling hard! As many of you know, our phones have been cut off! If you need us, call my parents house phone, facebook us or email us at Ciadamik@aol.com! We are using all the money we earned from the fundraiser strictly on medical bills! I don't want people thinking we are going out and flushing their money away on our personal bills, wants and needs. We did apply for Medicare and we did get approved for that! That will help us out tremendously!! That will pay our copays, deductibles and prescriptions. The problem is, we are waiting patiently by the mailbox to receive our cards. Once we get our cards we are in business!
Keep praying!! Pray for my kids. Pray for Joey to get the right prescription he needs! Pray for Jonny that God uses him to lead many of his classmates to the Lord or at least plant the seed! Pray too that he gets a peace about having cancer (or not having cancer in his case) Pray for my Caylee to be comforted during her surgery and that it will be as painless as possible. Also pray that this will be the last procedure she will need to have done!! Pray for me to either get a second wind when it comes to chemo or that its His will I get to have a little chemo vacation! Pray for Jon, that his job remains supportive of our needs and that he keeps his sanity intact during all of this! Remember, God is listening, even though it might not seem so!!
Tomorrow is chemo again.. I am not a happy camper. Jon says I usually pick fights with him the night before chemo!!! Who?? ME!!??? I don't believe him! But tonight he is working late, so since I can not aim my emotions at him, I thought I would jump on here and update everyone!! I did realize tonight that this is the longest that I have been on chemo without a break since starting in June of 2011. I have been doing chemo for 8 months straight!!! The longest I had gone without a break before was 4 months! I think I am due for a break. (I know my hair is ready for a break! This is the thinnest my hair has ever been!) I need a fun break, not one that involves a surgery or hospital time. Maybe a nice beach somewhere!
This past weekend I got sick. WOULDN'T YOU KNOW THE ONE WEEKEND JON AND I HAD A BABYSITTER TO TAKE THE KIDS OVERNIGHT AND I GET SICK!!?? What are the odds? Pretty good when you are Christianne Adamik! I think I had over did it at the fundraiser. I literally could hardly walk to the car at the end of the night! I had forgot to eat, drink and take my pills while at the restaurant! After I got home from the fundraiser, I don't even remember how I got into the bath, but an hour after soaking and Jon getting me food, water and my pills, I was a lot better! Anyway, the next day I ended up having a fever of 101.5 and was throwing up! Usually they make you go to the ER, but they said if we could get the fever under control in 2 hours, I could stay home. About an hour after taking all my meds and extra Tylenol, I was feeling much better. I fought the fever on and off for the next few days, but by Sunday night it had broke completely! So I am curious to see if my labs say anything tomorrow. I am not lucky enough to get to skip this round, so I am not getting my hopes up. I have been having more pain lately, in my chest. I thought maybe it was psychological, but a couple days after noticing the increased pain, Jon and I were in our room and the kids were in bed. He kept hearing a weird noise, then he walked closer to me and asked if I could hear it and I said no. He came even closer and looked at me funny and said it was coming from me! I was wheezing and he heard it across the room. So that is something else I need to bring up at tomorrow's appointment. But that shouldn't be too much of a surprise because the cancer in my lungs did grow.
I do have an update on the kids. The school finally stepped in and the boys are now seeing the school's psychologist. They go every Tuesday. They haven't been to their personal counselor in a while because, we just can't afford it. But we really needed to do something about Joey being on Ritalin. This dose is a high one and the doctor said this is the highest dose he is willing to prescribe. Joey's teacher (who I adore and completely trust, she even showed up to the fundraiser!!) and I both agree, this pill is just not working for him. So we made an appointment for Joey to see a psychologist (because they are counselors who can prescribe meds, they sound scarier than they are!) So he goes to see her on April 26th. He is such a good kid! Loves animals and to garden. Today he took his toy gun that makes a loud popping noise and sat on a chair for hours because we had a butterfly hatch out of a cocoon today. He used the gun to scare off birds until the butterfly's wings were strong enough to fly away! That's Joey! On the other hand, if we don't keep him busy, he gets in a mess of trouble! Like jumping off the roof, trouble!
Jonny is up and down. He started bringing and reading his Bible to school. He came home one night and told me he was reading his Bible at school because he ran out of books there that interested him (so in other words, they ran out of Star Wars books!) At first the Negative Nelly in me said, "YA RIGHT!?" Of course, I would never say that to him, so what did I do because I didn't believe him? I quizzed him. He answered every question I threw at him! I was still in disbelief. So finally I asked him about Adam and Eve (because he said he had already read that and was reading about Noah already) I asked him why they got into trouble. He said, 'That's easy mom. The snake gave Eve the fruit because if they ate the fruit, they would know as much as God knows! So she ate the fruit and gave it to Adam. He ate it and then they realized they were NAKED (he said it like snake without the S) and then they made clothes out of fig leaves and was banished from the garden!" I started crying!!! I felt so bad, he looked at me like I was CRAZY!! He said, "What? was I wrong?!" I said, "No baby!!! I was wrong!!!" As soon as he said NAKED I knew he was telling the truth because he said it like its spelled not how its pronounced!! I felt like the snake!!! I apologized for quizzing him and he told me he liked it. Then proceeded to tell me the rest of what he had read! Even facts like how old Noah was when he died! I felt like the biggest jerk. Then he told me that everyone kept asking him to look up different verses! I said, "That is a great way to witness and tell people about Jesus!" He said that he told his friends to bring their Bibles and then they would read it together and talk about what they were reading. I told him that was called a Bible study!! He laughed so hard! I said, "what is so funny?!" He said, "I didn't know thats what a Bible study was!!" LOL!! So, a couple of days go by and Jon goes to Jonny's parent/teacher conference. The teacher asked if we were aware that Jonny was taking his Bible to school and leading a Bible study!!!?? Jon said, he got defensive and said, "Yes we are! Is that a problem?" The teacher replied, "NOT WITH ME!! I am backing him up 100%, so far he has done everything right and they can't stop him!!" He then informed Jon that he was actually going to go to seminary, but his wife got pregnant and he decided to become a teacher! He also said that Jonny has been reading scripture in front of the class and he lets him answer student's questions!! My son the evangelist! I am so proud! It is so comforting to know, BOTH of the boy's teachers are Christians! Makes sending them to public school a little easier! He is struggling with believing he has cancer. We took him to the doctor to ease his mind! We have to make another appointment for him to have the lab work done to prove to him, he is healthy! I pray he does not worry his entire life that he will one day end up with colon cancer!
Then there is Caylee, she is still struggling with her urinary stuff. Today she went to CHOC and had an ultrasound done and an appointment with Dr Antoine Khoury! One of the top Urologists around. They scheduled her for a Cystoscopy, bilateral deflux today. If anyone knows anything about that procedure, please email me!! (You know I will be googling the heck out of it also!) Her surgery is next month at CHOC hospital. She will only be under for 10 minutes, but when it is your baby, 10mins feels like 10 hours!! The doctor said that this is the last procedure she will have before they have to start doing an even more invasive surgery, where they actually cut her!! She will be on a new prescription to keep the UTI's at bay until her surgery. I know God has a special plan for her. He holds my whole family in his loving hands!!
On a financial note, we are still struggling hard! As many of you know, our phones have been cut off! If you need us, call my parents house phone, facebook us or email us at Ciadamik@aol.com! We are using all the money we earned from the fundraiser strictly on medical bills! I don't want people thinking we are going out and flushing their money away on our personal bills, wants and needs. We did apply for Medicare and we did get approved for that! That will help us out tremendously!! That will pay our copays, deductibles and prescriptions. The problem is, we are waiting patiently by the mailbox to receive our cards. Once we get our cards we are in business!
Keep praying!! Pray for my kids. Pray for Joey to get the right prescription he needs! Pray for Jonny that God uses him to lead many of his classmates to the Lord or at least plant the seed! Pray too that he gets a peace about having cancer (or not having cancer in his case) Pray for my Caylee to be comforted during her surgery and that it will be as painless as possible. Also pray that this will be the last procedure she will need to have done!! Pray for me to either get a second wind when it comes to chemo or that its His will I get to have a little chemo vacation! Pray for Jon, that his job remains supportive of our needs and that he keeps his sanity intact during all of this! Remember, God is listening, even though it might not seem so!!
Thursday, April 4, 2013
NUMBER DROP!!!
I just realized that I never posted that we got a phone call from the doctor that my CEA numbers, that had been steadily climbing the past couple months, just took a nose dive!!!! They had crept all the way up to 72 and dropped to 61 in 3 weeks time!! The doctor usually waits to tell us my numbers from the previous visit, at the following dr appointment 3 weeks later. He was so excited, he called us with the news as soon as he got the results!! I guess those little baby steps worked!! I didn't lose any weight, but didn't gain either, so I will take it!! Now my next appointment, with all the Easter candy and desserts around here, I will be SHOCKED if I don't gain any weight! AH WELL!!
Also, tomorrow night we will be having a fundraiser at Chili's restaurant in Yorba Linda off Yorba Linda Blvd!! All you do is come in to eat any time between 11am to 10pm and bring in the below coupon and Chili's will donate 15% of you bill to go to help me pay my medical bills!! So print out the below coupon/flyer or email me at ciadamik@aol.com and I will email a coupon/flyer for you to print out!
Also, tomorrow night we will be having a fundraiser at Chili's restaurant in Yorba Linda off Yorba Linda Blvd!! All you do is come in to eat any time between 11am to 10pm and bring in the below coupon and Chili's will donate 15% of you bill to go to help me pay my medical bills!! So print out the below coupon/flyer or email me at ciadamik@aol.com and I will email a coupon/flyer for you to print out!
Also we have a praise report!!! We were accepted for MediCal!! Which means they cover almost everything that my private insurance does not cover!! The absolute most money out of pocket I will pay is $1000 a year!!! Right now it is $7500 individually or $15,000 for family! MediCal will start retroactively paying from the last 3 months and on!! The problem is, I owe almost $10,000 to St Jude from the previous couple of years. Well, we have not even looked at those medical bills because we were told by my doctor not to worry about them because he can't stop treating me, so we didn't worry about them. NOW, the human resource lady from St Jude is saying if we don't do something quickly and pay down these bills, if I ever go into remission, they will stop seeing me as a patient!!!! So, thankfully we will not be racking up any more medical bills because I qualified for MC , but I have got to get the old bills paid down now as soon as I can! I am so grateful to my friend Krista Parker for organizing the Chili's fundraiser! It took a lot of weight off my shoulders!!
So PLEASE... everyone take a night off from cooking to come eat and hang out with your friends at Chili's in Yorba Linda! Please wear your fight club shirt or royal blue!! Make sure you have the above flyer with you and bring some friends along! Even if you can not afford to eat out, come just to hang out and have a good time!! CAN'T WAIT TO SEE EVERYONE!! I may seem a little overwhelmed tomorrow, but please come up to me and say hello! I want to take pics with as many of my friends/supporters as I can!! Love you all and KEEP PRAYING.... HE IS LISTENING!!
Friday, March 15, 2013
T-Shirt Time!!!!
I just want to let everyone know we have a new and easy way to order your Christianne's Fight Club shirts! You can customize them however you would like!! 10% of all the proceeds go to help my fight against Colon Cancer! You can also purchase hats, hoodies, PJ's, pretty much anything you would like!!
I just ordered a new V-neck for me and a shirt for Caylee! They are shipped right to your door and they accept all major credit cards!!
Click on the link below to order now!! Thanks for all your support! GOD BLESS!!
https://ssastores.com/store/
I just ordered a new V-neck for me and a shirt for Caylee! They are shipped right to your door and they accept all major credit cards!!
Click on the link below to order now!! Thanks for all your support! GOD BLESS!!
https://ssastores.com/store/
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
I don't even know where to begin! The past 2 months have flown by! Our family suffered another HUGE blow! My grandmother, Mildred Irene Casey, passed away on February 6th! On January 27th, we threw my uncle, Russell, a 50th birthday party. My family and my mom and dad, came early to decorate, frost cupcakes and get things ready for the party. While I was frosting the cupcakes, my cousin, Shayla was with me. My grandma came in and said hi to my cousin and was completely fine!! Not even 5 minutes later, we hear my dad tell my uncle to call 911. I ran into the front room where my grandma was sitting her spot that she always sits in and she was slouched over and her face was drooping on one side. 8 minutes later (felt like an hour) the ambulance was there and took her to St Jude, where they told us she was having a stroke. They encouraged the family to give her this medication that was kind of risky. 20% of patients don't make it through the procedure, but if they didn't give her the med, she would be paralyzed and unable to swallow on her own (she would have a feeding tube) The family agreed and gave her a blood thinner, which was supposed to shrink the blood clot. It worked!! The entire family was there and after the procedure was over, we all went in to see her and she was joking around, moving her body and telling us to stop worrying about her and to go home. That was the last day she was herself. The next day she developed a brain bleed (side effect from the blood thinner and had more strokes) We all practically lived at the hospital the entire time she was there. She lasted for a week like that and then went home to be with our Lord and my grandpa! I was close to my grandma. I love her so much. I miss her so badly. Honestly the only way I am getting through this is really holding on to the fact that I will see her in Heaven!! So keep my family in your prayers. We are all heart broken, but especially her 4 children. They are going through a terrible time!
On the chemo front, I have just finished the 3 round of my chemo pills. So far I love it!!!! The only side effect I could live without is hair loss. Its not going to completely fall out, but its getting thin. We are constantly cleaning out the shower drain. But I feel way more free than before! I don't feel tied down to chemo. I went from going to the dr 6 times every 4 weeks to 2 times every 6 weeks! The down side.... my doctor said he doesn't like that my numbers are not going down. They are just hoovering around 62! So he ordered a CT Scan for March 14th at 7:30am. Well, I don't see the point of this CT Scan because I REFUSE to go back on 5-fu!!!
Personally I have made changes also. Little things, but I had to start getting healthy. I have been doing more with my friends, going to Knotts Berry Farm with my family and friends, and going to the spa with just the girls!! Jon and I are walking every night. I have made a rule of not eating after 7pm. I have completely stopped drinking soda of any kind. Also I have made choices like, if its taco night, I skipped the deep fat fried shells, we had pasta tonight, so I skipped the garlic bread, just little things like that. I have been a LOT more tired the past couple days tho. I actually slept in until 4 pm today!!!! (That's why I am up writing my blog at 1am!!) I have also started looking into finding the guanabana fruit (juice is called sour sop) It is a BIG time cancer fighter. If anyone finds this fruit PLEASE let me know!! Also I really want to start juicing, so I would love every ones favorite recipe!! My email address is ciadamik@aol.com I am really excited to see what juices/smoothies fight or how they enhance your body!! Please prat for me. I will be so discouraged if I don't lose any weight!! I have also had trouble with sleep the past couple days., For example, I slept in today until 4pm!!!!
Well I will post some of the fun things I have been doing and actually acting like a mother, friend and wife, but especially just doing things for me!!!
This was on Friday the 8th! I met my favorite Christian writer Karen Kingsbury!! I was hoping that someone was taking a picture of her laying hands on my and asking for full and complete healing! It was one of the most amazing moments in my life!!!
On the chemo front, I have just finished the 3 round of my chemo pills. So far I love it!!!! The only side effect I could live without is hair loss. Its not going to completely fall out, but its getting thin. We are constantly cleaning out the shower drain. But I feel way more free than before! I don't feel tied down to chemo. I went from going to the dr 6 times every 4 weeks to 2 times every 6 weeks! The down side.... my doctor said he doesn't like that my numbers are not going down. They are just hoovering around 62! So he ordered a CT Scan for March 14th at 7:30am. Well, I don't see the point of this CT Scan because I REFUSE to go back on 5-fu!!!
Personally I have made changes also. Little things, but I had to start getting healthy. I have been doing more with my friends, going to Knotts Berry Farm with my family and friends, and going to the spa with just the girls!! Jon and I are walking every night. I have made a rule of not eating after 7pm. I have completely stopped drinking soda of any kind. Also I have made choices like, if its taco night, I skipped the deep fat fried shells, we had pasta tonight, so I skipped the garlic bread, just little things like that. I have been a LOT more tired the past couple days tho. I actually slept in until 4 pm today!!!! (That's why I am up writing my blog at 1am!!) I have also started looking into finding the guanabana fruit (juice is called sour sop) It is a BIG time cancer fighter. If anyone finds this fruit PLEASE let me know!! Also I really want to start juicing, so I would love every ones favorite recipe!! My email address is ciadamik@aol.com I am really excited to see what juices/smoothies fight or how they enhance your body!! Please prat for me. I will be so discouraged if I don't lose any weight!! I have also had trouble with sleep the past couple days., For example, I slept in today until 4pm!!!!
Well I will post some of the fun things I have been doing and actually acting like a mother, friend and wife, but especially just doing things for me!!!
This was on Friday the 8th! I met my favorite Christian writer Karen Kingsbury!! I was hoping that someone was taking a picture of her laying hands on my and asking for full and complete healing! It was one of the most amazing moments in my life!!!
KNOTT'S BERRY FARM
MARCH 9TH 2013
Christianne, Betsy and Krista
Christianne and Krista
Here is a pic of the whole gang!!! The Adamiks, Richards, Sodens and Parkers
We had 20 people with us!! That's how we roll!!
So to wrap things up, I need prayer for full and complete healing, healing for my family from the loss of grandma. PRAY MY CT SCAN GIVES US AWESOME RESULTS. Pray that my little changes make big changes in my health!! Pray for my little ones and my marriage to continue to remain as strong as we can! Pray I get on an awesome sleep schedule!!
THANKS ALL!!! I will update again after the CT results.
Monday, January 21, 2013
So far... SO GOOD!!
I started the new pills on Wednesday the 16th. I take a total of 8 pills a day, 4 at 8am and 4 at 5pm. I do this for 2 weeks, then have a week off from everything. So, I started my pills that (Wednesday) morning, went in and had my regular doctors appointment. I didn't ask what my cancer numbers were this time, I was too preoccupied with the new pills. The doctor seemed a little nervous about me starting these pills, but knew I needed them because I am done doing the 5-FU. I think because of human error. I could forget to take the pills, or take them late, etc... He said if I have any side effects to call him. BUT I KNOW I WILL NOT BE MAKING THAT PHONE CALL!!
After my appointment, I went to my regular chemo. I had chemo for 4 to 5 hours, forgetting that I am getting practically a double dose of it because I now get 2 weeks between my chemo sessions. Then went home. I have not missed any pills and have been doing really good on them! GOD IS GOOD!! It has been almost a week and had almost a double dose of my IV chemo and I do not have any side effects. So thank you for all your prayers, again God has been merciful to me and has given me strength to keep going!
So my new chemo schedule is 2 weeks on the pills and I do a double dose of my IV chemo on the first day, then 1 week off of everything. I will get 2 weeks off between chemo sessions. I don't go back to chemo until February 7th!!!! PRAISE JESUS!!!!!!!!!
Also, we want to kindly remind everyone that I have a compromised immune system. With it being cold and flu season we want to ask that everyone be symptom free for at least 48 hours before coming around. It may be a tiny runny nose to you, but for me, it could mean a hospital trip. We are not singling anyone out, this is a household rule for everyone!!! I WILL BE HOSPITALIZED FOR A FEVER OF 100.5!!! Thank you for understanding and please do not take offense to this!! There are times I have to be a little selfish and this is one of those times.
I love you all and thank you so much for your prayers!! Remember, GOD IS LISTENING!!! I am just in awe of all the prayers he has answered so far!!! Keep praying for full and complete healing!!!
After my appointment, I went to my regular chemo. I had chemo for 4 to 5 hours, forgetting that I am getting practically a double dose of it because I now get 2 weeks between my chemo sessions. Then went home. I have not missed any pills and have been doing really good on them! GOD IS GOOD!! It has been almost a week and had almost a double dose of my IV chemo and I do not have any side effects. So thank you for all your prayers, again God has been merciful to me and has given me strength to keep going!
So my new chemo schedule is 2 weeks on the pills and I do a double dose of my IV chemo on the first day, then 1 week off of everything. I will get 2 weeks off between chemo sessions. I don't go back to chemo until February 7th!!!! PRAISE JESUS!!!!!!!!!
Also, we want to kindly remind everyone that I have a compromised immune system. With it being cold and flu season we want to ask that everyone be symptom free for at least 48 hours before coming around. It may be a tiny runny nose to you, but for me, it could mean a hospital trip. We are not singling anyone out, this is a household rule for everyone!!! I WILL BE HOSPITALIZED FOR A FEVER OF 100.5!!! Thank you for understanding and please do not take offense to this!! There are times I have to be a little selfish and this is one of those times.
I love you all and thank you so much for your prayers!! Remember, GOD IS LISTENING!!! I am just in awe of all the prayers he has answered so far!!! Keep praying for full and complete healing!!!
Monday, January 14, 2013
New chemo!!!
I wanted to update everyone and let them know I have made a BIG decision to quit doing the 5-FU (the take home) Chemo!!! I just hate doing it, it really breaks my spirits and has me in a bad place the whole time I am doing it. We found out that the 5-FU is one of the only chemos that come in pill form also! It is called Xeloda. They should be delivered tomorrow! So we should be starting that this week. There are some side effects that I need you to pray I don't have!! Obviously nausea and vomiting. Another is what they call hand and foot syndrome. Pretty much your hands and feet get extremely dry, turn red, and very itchy. Pretty much the most terrible case of eczema you can think of!! Constipation and/or diarrhea, problems with your sense of taste, tiredness and/or weakness and mouth sores. Please pray I am the 20% who doesn't not have any side effects from these pills. I really think that these pills will fit so much better with my life, especially if I don't have the side effects.
I will update again once I start my pills or after my doctor appointment on Wednesday, which ever comes first!! Thanks for all the prayers. Keep them up!! God is listening!!
I will update again once I start my pills or after my doctor appointment on Wednesday, which ever comes first!! Thanks for all the prayers. Keep them up!! God is listening!!
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Happy New Year!!
I had my CT scan and it went well, even though the nurse had absolutely no idea how to access my port and poked me 5 times. After the 5th time, I told them to stop, that I would go up to the infusion center and have them access it for me. The infusion center nurse got it in one poke, like always!! The first nurse had me laying on the ct scan machine, while another nurse tried squeezing my port (through my skin) because she thought it was rolling back and forth inside my chest! When I told the infusion center nurse that the other nurses thought that my port was rolling back and forth and that was why they didn't get it, the nurse just rolled her eyes!
My doctor appointment and chemo are scheduled for tomorrow morning. (well, my appointment is canceled now) I had told everyone who asked about the results that I didn't expect the them until my appointment on Wednesday. They always say no news is good news. I usually always get my results at my doctor appointment that followed the CT scan. (which is always the following week) I had no reason to believe otherwise.
After the scan we went to lunch, we got home around noon. I took a nap and woke up about 2:00pm. Jon and I were hanging out in our room when the phone rings. We looked at the caller ID and it was the doctors office. I FROZE!!! I just knew it was bad news because they have never called us to give us the results and especially only a few hours after the scan!!! Jon answered the phone and usually they will just talk to Jon and he relays the message to me. They specifically asked for me!! Jon tried to hand me the phone and I just couldn't take it from him. A million things raced through my head, but I kept thinking, "This is it!! This is the call we have been dreading the past year and a half" I then looked around realizing all my kids were in the room with us. I told Jon to get them out of the room. He threw the phone at me and ushered the kids out. I said "Hello?" and the lady on the other end said, "Hello Christianne? This is Lisa from Dr Panares' office!" I thought, OH GREAT!! It must be bad, I have no idea who this lady is!!! I only deal with LeAnn and Helen!! I said, "OK..." she said, "Dr Paneres got your scan results and he wanted me to call you and let you know that everything is stable! There is no growth and the chemo is doing its job!" I can not explain how I felt at that moment. Scared, relieved, mad, confused... I just started crying and said, "DO YOU KNOW HOW SCARED YOU HAD ME???? I have ALWAYS been told no news is good news and you call me only hours after the test!!!" She kind of chuckled and said, "I am so sorry, I hope those are tears of joy!" I said, "I don't know what they are!" She then said, "Well I am truly sorry to scare you, but have a great weekend!"
I hung up and just sat there crying on my bed!! I just needed a release from this whole bumpy road that is my life!! Being told AGAIN to expect growth because my numbers keep going up, then being told, nothing is wrong! I am so thankful for this rollercoaster ride that is my life, I still have LIFE!! But I have to say, it is so stressful!
So that brings us to today!! The start of 2013! I am so happy and thankful to God to see another year! It does make me realize how quickly my life is going! Sometimes I think, "I can't believe its been a year and a half already since I was diagnosed" then (usually while on chemo) I think, "I can NOT do this any longer, its been a year and a half!!!!" Sometimes I am so thankful to God for every second he has given me with my family and other times I am so upset thinking "Why me??? What did I do to deserve this?? Why do MY kids have to go through this? Its NOT FAIR!!" On those days, I just flip open the Bible and beg God to show me the lesson he wants me to learn from this and how to tell others of his love for us! Man! When I get better, I have a feeling I will be doing A LOT of witnessing! Even now its easier for me to be blunt about God with others because knowing you are so close to death, it really makes you not care what anyone thinks about you! I am more opened now to being used by God than ever in my life before. I also think it has made me a better mom because I am constantly talking to the kids about Jesus and making sure they are praying and making right choices. I tell them straight out, the only way we will be together forever is if you love Jesus and you have asked him into your heart! We talk more openly about our faith with them now, than before I had cancer. I used to have the mentality that, "They will learn it in Sunday School! I am here to make sure they don't get hurt, meet their needs financially and emotionally!" I never took responsibility for their walk with Christ! That has completely changed, it is my top priority to make sure they are strong Christian men and woman! So one of my goals for 2013 is to be used by God as much as he wants to use me!! I know, coming from me is crazy right? No! I didn't take my Xanax today! LOL! This is just one of my new goals for 2013!
I look at my life, my fresh scars on my body, my thinning hair, my dark circles under my eyes, my yellowish skin, my new habits, all my new normals and for the first time since finding out about cancer, I feel steady!! Yes the boat is rocking back and forth out of control, but with GOD AS MY ANCHOR I can finally stand up without being knocked back down and start really living life again. Life where cancer is not who or what I am, its just another thing I need to deal with! A life that includes putting my husband and kids first above all "things" in my life. My priorities have really been messed up this past 1 1/2 years! Now with the help of God, our counselor, family and friends, I am confident I will get back to putting my husband and kids first in my life right after God! Its time for me to step up and become the wife and mother that I have always wanted to be! After spending over a year with Jon in this uncharted desert, it made me realize he is truly the man God intended for me! There is no other man on Earth who would do what Jon has done(and still does) for me during this time. Does that mean we are a perfect couple, NO!!! I have not been the wife that God intended me to be and now my eyes have been opened to that. My goal for 2013 is not to lose weight, its not to work out more or to spend less money. Although, those are all great resolutions. My goal is to put GOD first, then my husband and then my kids, in that order in my life! With that being said more time with family, means less time with the laptop, texting and spending more time with my family. I hope all my friends can be understanding and know when I don't text right back or have to say no to them, that its nothing against them, its just me trying to be a better wife and mother.
Well I hope this all made sense, it is really late as I write this! Keep praying for me GOD IS LISTENING!! That we know FOR SURE!!! He has never let us down!!!!
My doctor appointment and chemo are scheduled for tomorrow morning. (well, my appointment is canceled now) I had told everyone who asked about the results that I didn't expect the them until my appointment on Wednesday. They always say no news is good news. I usually always get my results at my doctor appointment that followed the CT scan. (which is always the following week) I had no reason to believe otherwise.
After the scan we went to lunch, we got home around noon. I took a nap and woke up about 2:00pm. Jon and I were hanging out in our room when the phone rings. We looked at the caller ID and it was the doctors office. I FROZE!!! I just knew it was bad news because they have never called us to give us the results and especially only a few hours after the scan!!! Jon answered the phone and usually they will just talk to Jon and he relays the message to me. They specifically asked for me!! Jon tried to hand me the phone and I just couldn't take it from him. A million things raced through my head, but I kept thinking, "This is it!! This is the call we have been dreading the past year and a half" I then looked around realizing all my kids were in the room with us. I told Jon to get them out of the room. He threw the phone at me and ushered the kids out. I said "Hello?" and the lady on the other end said, "Hello Christianne? This is Lisa from Dr Panares' office!" I thought, OH GREAT!! It must be bad, I have no idea who this lady is!!! I only deal with LeAnn and Helen!! I said, "OK..." she said, "Dr Paneres got your scan results and he wanted me to call you and let you know that everything is stable! There is no growth and the chemo is doing its job!" I can not explain how I felt at that moment. Scared, relieved, mad, confused... I just started crying and said, "DO YOU KNOW HOW SCARED YOU HAD ME???? I have ALWAYS been told no news is good news and you call me only hours after the test!!!" She kind of chuckled and said, "I am so sorry, I hope those are tears of joy!" I said, "I don't know what they are!" She then said, "Well I am truly sorry to scare you, but have a great weekend!"
I hung up and just sat there crying on my bed!! I just needed a release from this whole bumpy road that is my life!! Being told AGAIN to expect growth because my numbers keep going up, then being told, nothing is wrong! I am so thankful for this rollercoaster ride that is my life, I still have LIFE!! But I have to say, it is so stressful!
So that brings us to today!! The start of 2013! I am so happy and thankful to God to see another year! It does make me realize how quickly my life is going! Sometimes I think, "I can't believe its been a year and a half already since I was diagnosed" then (usually while on chemo) I think, "I can NOT do this any longer, its been a year and a half!!!!" Sometimes I am so thankful to God for every second he has given me with my family and other times I am so upset thinking "Why me??? What did I do to deserve this?? Why do MY kids have to go through this? Its NOT FAIR!!" On those days, I just flip open the Bible and beg God to show me the lesson he wants me to learn from this and how to tell others of his love for us! Man! When I get better, I have a feeling I will be doing A LOT of witnessing! Even now its easier for me to be blunt about God with others because knowing you are so close to death, it really makes you not care what anyone thinks about you! I am more opened now to being used by God than ever in my life before. I also think it has made me a better mom because I am constantly talking to the kids about Jesus and making sure they are praying and making right choices. I tell them straight out, the only way we will be together forever is if you love Jesus and you have asked him into your heart! We talk more openly about our faith with them now, than before I had cancer. I used to have the mentality that, "They will learn it in Sunday School! I am here to make sure they don't get hurt, meet their needs financially and emotionally!" I never took responsibility for their walk with Christ! That has completely changed, it is my top priority to make sure they are strong Christian men and woman! So one of my goals for 2013 is to be used by God as much as he wants to use me!! I know, coming from me is crazy right? No! I didn't take my Xanax today! LOL! This is just one of my new goals for 2013!
I look at my life, my fresh scars on my body, my thinning hair, my dark circles under my eyes, my yellowish skin, my new habits, all my new normals and for the first time since finding out about cancer, I feel steady!! Yes the boat is rocking back and forth out of control, but with GOD AS MY ANCHOR I can finally stand up without being knocked back down and start really living life again. Life where cancer is not who or what I am, its just another thing I need to deal with! A life that includes putting my husband and kids first above all "things" in my life. My priorities have really been messed up this past 1 1/2 years! Now with the help of God, our counselor, family and friends, I am confident I will get back to putting my husband and kids first in my life right after God! Its time for me to step up and become the wife and mother that I have always wanted to be! After spending over a year with Jon in this uncharted desert, it made me realize he is truly the man God intended for me! There is no other man on Earth who would do what Jon has done(and still does) for me during this time. Does that mean we are a perfect couple, NO!!! I have not been the wife that God intended me to be and now my eyes have been opened to that. My goal for 2013 is not to lose weight, its not to work out more or to spend less money. Although, those are all great resolutions. My goal is to put GOD first, then my husband and then my kids, in that order in my life! With that being said more time with family, means less time with the laptop, texting and spending more time with my family. I hope all my friends can be understanding and know when I don't text right back or have to say no to them, that its nothing against them, its just me trying to be a better wife and mother.
Well I hope this all made sense, it is really late as I write this! Keep praying for me GOD IS LISTENING!! That we know FOR SURE!!! He has never let us down!!!!
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