My brother has always been there for me and now he is stepping up to the plate when I need him the most! He set up an account for people to donate to for my medical bills! By the end of next year, we will need approximately $15,000.00 for medical bills! Thank you Rob for always taking care of me! I love you!
http://funds.gofundme.com/6o2o4
Friday, July 29, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Third times the charm!
July 25th~ I had my doctor's appointment today, Susie and Jon came with me and it went well! He did say I am losing weight a little fast. Umm... that is the only good thing I see in this whole mess! ha ha! He also said that he wants to put me on another chemo med once I have my ct-scan in August after my next round of chemo. This is the medicine that he tested on my tumor and it seemed to work! I came home from the doctor and had a pretty good day. But, that night, I was hit by terrible pains. I am not sure where they came from and do not want my mind to wander to dark places. So, I gritted my teeth and bared through it as much as I could!
July 26th~ Before chemo every week, my parents friend from high school, Dave, comes over and he prays with me and gives me and uplifting message to get me through what I am going through! It means so much to me! Every message he gives me I know comes straight from the Lord! He reminds me that God loves me more than I love my own children! He hurts to see me hurt and He is with me at all times! This day we cut it a little short because I was so out of it from being up the night before with the pains. I got to chemo and they gave me a private room! I loved it, like being in a hotel... (insert eye roll) But it was nice. They also gave me IV pain meds, which put me to sleep for almost the whole time! My favorite nurse was there with me. Her name is Gail and she calls me Trouble! LOL! I am a baby when it comes to being poked with needles. She even gave me numbing cream, ya, doesn't do much! During and after chemo, I drank as much as possible to not get those horrible leg aches! After chemo, Angie (my sister in law), Jenna (my 2yr old niece) and Nathan (my new nephew) came over and brought dinner!! It was so nice to see them and Jenna is still comfortable around us and house from me babysitting her for the first year of her life! I was sad when they left! Then around 8pm, my legs were achy, I really thought with everything I drank I wouldn't get the leg aches. They weren't as bad as last time at all! I was just over tired and just done and started crying! I try to be strong, but sometimes its all just a little too much!
July 27th~ Today was a good day, but I am a little nauseous! Smells are getting to me! I have my little chemo buddy with me! The good ol' fanny pack of poison! Lol! I get it out tomorrow and really hope I don't get sick! YES!! I will not question if its working if I don't get sick! LoL!!
So that is everything up to date! I will be back when there is more to post! Good night!
July 26th~ Before chemo every week, my parents friend from high school, Dave, comes over and he prays with me and gives me and uplifting message to get me through what I am going through! It means so much to me! Every message he gives me I know comes straight from the Lord! He reminds me that God loves me more than I love my own children! He hurts to see me hurt and He is with me at all times! This day we cut it a little short because I was so out of it from being up the night before with the pains. I got to chemo and they gave me a private room! I loved it, like being in a hotel... (insert eye roll) But it was nice. They also gave me IV pain meds, which put me to sleep for almost the whole time! My favorite nurse was there with me. Her name is Gail and she calls me Trouble! LOL! I am a baby when it comes to being poked with needles. She even gave me numbing cream, ya, doesn't do much! During and after chemo, I drank as much as possible to not get those horrible leg aches! After chemo, Angie (my sister in law), Jenna (my 2yr old niece) and Nathan (my new nephew) came over and brought dinner!! It was so nice to see them and Jenna is still comfortable around us and house from me babysitting her for the first year of her life! I was sad when they left! Then around 8pm, my legs were achy, I really thought with everything I drank I wouldn't get the leg aches. They weren't as bad as last time at all! I was just over tired and just done and started crying! I try to be strong, but sometimes its all just a little too much!
July 27th~ Today was a good day, but I am a little nauseous! Smells are getting to me! I have my little chemo buddy with me! The good ol' fanny pack of poison! Lol! I get it out tomorrow and really hope I don't get sick! YES!! I will not question if its working if I don't get sick! LoL!!
So that is everything up to date! I will be back when there is more to post! Good night!
Monday, July 18, 2011
another update
July 15th, I felt great this day! I got my chemo out and this was the day last time that I got sick! But I was thinking that maybe I wasn't going to get sick! Then, the Devil started playing tricks with my mind. Telling me the chemo wasn't working because I wasn't feeling sick. Anyone who knows me, knows I worry over EVERYTHING!!! I wake up some nights worrying about why I am worrying! I know, I need help! LOL! Anyway, I was just excited that I was feeling good because I really wanted to go to church to see the boys VBS program.
July 16th, I called people and bragged how I didn't get sick, but then in the back of my mind was that nagging thought of it not working! UGH! Well, that night, around midnight, IT HIT!!! Oh my word, I was so sick! Up all night, no sleep, throwing up! I am not talking a couple of hours! I am telling you, my kids were up before I felt comfortable enough to finally fall asleep. I just sat up, crying out to God to let me get through this!
July 17th, Of course this is the day of the VBS program and I didn't fall asleep until 7am, I am still sick and I am still sick! I just can't go! Poor Jon was up the whole night with me too. That is going to be his nick name from now on... Poor Jon! LOL! He sat in the bathroom with me at 5am while I was in the bath trying to feel better. Holding my hair as I was getting sick in the sink. So we both missed the program, but my parents did video it for me! This day, I ended up eating a banana and a bagel! I was pretty excited to get the bagel down!
July 18th, Today my stomach is better, just sore! But I can eat! So I did get to go see Jonny off to his camp today! So I was happy about that!
So that is it! We are all caught up! This is my week off (from chemo and dr appts) I did end up getting sick, but later in the week this time! I am planning on still going to Lake Mohave in August, we just don't know how long after chemo to plan it! I was hoping that the sickness would hit the same time after chemo, but that doesn't seem to be the case! So we are playing it by ear! Keep praying and thankfully I am half way through with this cycle of chemo!!! Only 2 more times!
July 16th, I called people and bragged how I didn't get sick, but then in the back of my mind was that nagging thought of it not working! UGH! Well, that night, around midnight, IT HIT!!! Oh my word, I was so sick! Up all night, no sleep, throwing up! I am not talking a couple of hours! I am telling you, my kids were up before I felt comfortable enough to finally fall asleep. I just sat up, crying out to God to let me get through this!
July 17th, Of course this is the day of the VBS program and I didn't fall asleep until 7am, I am still sick and I am still sick! I just can't go! Poor Jon was up the whole night with me too. That is going to be his nick name from now on... Poor Jon! LOL! He sat in the bathroom with me at 5am while I was in the bath trying to feel better. Holding my hair as I was getting sick in the sink. So we both missed the program, but my parents did video it for me! This day, I ended up eating a banana and a bagel! I was pretty excited to get the bagel down!
July 18th, Today my stomach is better, just sore! But I can eat! So I did get to go see Jonny off to his camp today! So I was happy about that!
So that is it! We are all caught up! This is my week off (from chemo and dr appts) I did end up getting sick, but later in the week this time! I am planning on still going to Lake Mohave in August, we just don't know how long after chemo to plan it! I was hoping that the sickness would hit the same time after chemo, but that doesn't seem to be the case! So we are playing it by ear! Keep praying and thankfully I am half way through with this cycle of chemo!!! Only 2 more times!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
calling all prayer warriors!!!
July 11th, Today was my appointment with Dr. Panares, my oncologist. He answered all the questions I have like, did my port move? Can I paint my toenails since I am not allowed to have a pedicure or manicure? Can I go to the river in August with my family if I am feeling up to it? Will I get more sick with the chemo as time goes on? He answered yes to all the questions except the port did not move (I am such a worry wart! LOL) and he said no I probably wont get more sick than I did the first round! But I can paint my toenails and I can go to the river! He actually wants me to go to the river!
Everyone knows I don't want to hear Stages or statistics! I am someone who worries about EVERYTHING and I know that is how the Devil gets me! So while we were there with the dr, out of the blue, he just starts spewing statistics! UGH!!!!! He said only 40-50% of people on the chemo cocktail actually respond to it. He said that means it only stops the growth of the cancer, but in rare cases, it will actually shrink the cancer! I so did not want to hear that at all!!! He said they have a piece of my tumor and are testing it against different chemos and he said they found 1 chemo so far that absolutely does nothing to my tumor, so that one is out. Then he said there is another chemo that did work on my tumor. The problem is, my tumors are bloody tumors and this chemo makes you bleed. This new chemo only has the same 40-50% chance of working also. So he only wants to do it as a last resort. Then, I got some more news, he said I can't be on chemo forever and eventually he wants to take out the tumor in my colon. Jon asked about the tumors on my ovaries and the dr said, "Eventually, yes. That is a more in depth surgery that will require a gynecological surgeon to preform it!" So at this point, I wanted out of there. I need a dr who is upbeat and tells me, "We got this!" My dr has great bedside manners, just not for me, he looks at me with pity and is very touchy feely! Which is so nice, but I am afraid I am going to break down and cry right there in the office every time he does it!!!! What is my rule, NO CRYING!!!!! If I cry, I just may never stop! I have a life, kids and a husband to take care of for the next 5o years! Any ways, my blood work came back good enough to do my chemo the next day! Oh! I have lost 24 lbs in 3 weeks tho... not that you can tell yet!
July 12th, Time for chemo! It went pretty good! I was much more relaxed and actually slept! Poor Jon sits in this uncomfortable chair! But they did give him a soda! LOL! We were there from 9:30am to 2:15pm! So now I am hooked up to my little fanny pack buddy for the next 2 days! Once I got home, I got horrible leg aches!! It was terrible! I am pretty sure it was caused by dehydration. I can't wait until Thursday at 12:30pm to get this out of me!! Then I get that precious week off!!
July 13th, THEY LIED TO ME!!!!! I woke up VERY nauseous!! I took one of my nausea pills and feel better for the moment! I was feeling so bad that Jon called in today to take care of me! He already had yesterday off and then he took Friday off, because that is my bad day! But tomorrow, he HAS to go to work! He already has his whole day booked with calls!
Please continue to pray! Pray that I am the 40-50% that this chemo works on! Pray for our spirits to remain up even tho Satan is attacking!! Pray for strength for Jon, to continue to work and balance family without guilt! Also a little prayer request, Jonny (9yrs old), is going to summer camp for a week next week, pray for safety and that he has fun and learns more about our Lord!
Thanks for listening to me ramble on! I appreciate all of you and thank you for sharing in my journey!!
Everyone knows I don't want to hear Stages or statistics! I am someone who worries about EVERYTHING and I know that is how the Devil gets me! So while we were there with the dr, out of the blue, he just starts spewing statistics! UGH!!!!! He said only 40-50% of people on the chemo cocktail actually respond to it. He said that means it only stops the growth of the cancer, but in rare cases, it will actually shrink the cancer! I so did not want to hear that at all!!! He said they have a piece of my tumor and are testing it against different chemos and he said they found 1 chemo so far that absolutely does nothing to my tumor, so that one is out. Then he said there is another chemo that did work on my tumor. The problem is, my tumors are bloody tumors and this chemo makes you bleed. This new chemo only has the same 40-50% chance of working also. So he only wants to do it as a last resort. Then, I got some more news, he said I can't be on chemo forever and eventually he wants to take out the tumor in my colon. Jon asked about the tumors on my ovaries and the dr said, "Eventually, yes. That is a more in depth surgery that will require a gynecological surgeon to preform it!" So at this point, I wanted out of there. I need a dr who is upbeat and tells me, "We got this!" My dr has great bedside manners, just not for me, he looks at me with pity and is very touchy feely! Which is so nice, but I am afraid I am going to break down and cry right there in the office every time he does it!!!! What is my rule, NO CRYING!!!!! If I cry, I just may never stop! I have a life, kids and a husband to take care of for the next 5o years! Any ways, my blood work came back good enough to do my chemo the next day! Oh! I have lost 24 lbs in 3 weeks tho... not that you can tell yet!
July 12th, Time for chemo! It went pretty good! I was much more relaxed and actually slept! Poor Jon sits in this uncomfortable chair! But they did give him a soda! LOL! We were there from 9:30am to 2:15pm! So now I am hooked up to my little fanny pack buddy for the next 2 days! Once I got home, I got horrible leg aches!! It was terrible! I am pretty sure it was caused by dehydration. I can't wait until Thursday at 12:30pm to get this out of me!! Then I get that precious week off!!
July 13th, THEY LIED TO ME!!!!! I woke up VERY nauseous!! I took one of my nausea pills and feel better for the moment! I was feeling so bad that Jon called in today to take care of me! He already had yesterday off and then he took Friday off, because that is my bad day! But tomorrow, he HAS to go to work! He already has his whole day booked with calls!
Please continue to pray! Pray that I am the 40-50% that this chemo works on! Pray for our spirits to remain up even tho Satan is attacking!! Pray for strength for Jon, to continue to work and balance family without guilt! Also a little prayer request, Jonny (9yrs old), is going to summer camp for a week next week, pray for safety and that he has fun and learns more about our Lord!
Thanks for listening to me ramble on! I appreciate all of you and thank you for sharing in my journey!!
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Big Thank You!!
I just wanted to take a minute to thank everyone who has supported us during this time! There are too many to name! But we have been so blessed by everyone who has brought dinners, sent cards, sent flowers, brought magazines and books, babysat for us, prayed for us and has just been there for us! We even got a new adjustable bed from my brother's best friend!!
We are overwhelmed by every one's kindness! Kindness of complete strangers who have reached out and let us know that they are praying for us and that we are on their hearts! I got a homemade prayer blanket today from someone I have never met! I cried at the kindness of this person, who I have never laid eyes on, but they took the time to make a quilt and pray over each tie on the quilt for me! They took time out of their lives to pray for me! I feel so unworthy!
I really want everyone to know that we appreciate everything so much! All this support is a reminder of Christ's love for us! I don't know why we have to go through this, but I am confident that Christ is holding me and going to see me through this!
Please continue to pray as I face another round of chemo next week! Monday I see my oncologist and they will check my blood counts to make sure they are not too low. Then Tuesday, I am hooked back up to my chemo for 3 days! Fun times!! LOL!
We are overwhelmed by every one's kindness! Kindness of complete strangers who have reached out and let us know that they are praying for us and that we are on their hearts! I got a homemade prayer blanket today from someone I have never met! I cried at the kindness of this person, who I have never laid eyes on, but they took the time to make a quilt and pray over each tie on the quilt for me! They took time out of their lives to pray for me! I feel so unworthy!
I really want everyone to know that we appreciate everything so much! All this support is a reminder of Christ's love for us! I don't know why we have to go through this, but I am confident that Christ is holding me and going to see me through this!
Please continue to pray as I face another round of chemo next week! Monday I see my oncologist and they will check my blood counts to make sure they are not too low. Then Tuesday, I am hooked back up to my chemo for 3 days! Fun times!! LOL!
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Sickness hits!! UGH!!
June 30th, I turned in my fanny pack of fun and all was well! I was feeling semi-normal and free! Then around 9pm, it hit! I got sick! I was up the whole night being sick! It was no fun at all. Thursday turned to Friday, Friday turned to Saturday and finally on Sunday, I began feeling better. I am sorry to everyone who I have not called or texted back! I hope I will feel better soon and get back on top of things.
There is good news though! On Saturday night (July 2nd) Jon washed my hair in the sink! I am telling you, it made everything look a little brighter! LOL!! Its the little things that count for me right now!
I am thankful for all your thoughts and prayers! They honestly mean so much to me! Your comments have been so uplifting. Please continue to keep me and my family in your prayers! I really would love to feel good enough to go back to church! I am really missing it! One of my friend's mom left this verse for me to read on one of my comments and I have clung to it the last few days,
Isaiah 41:10~ So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
This verse has helped me through some dark moments when Satan attacks! I know there is a reason I have to go through this, I just don't know why yet! But, this verse is helping me remember that God is holding me through this! It is not going to be easy or fun, but He is right by my side, going through it with me! So comforting to know!
There is good news though! On Saturday night (July 2nd) Jon washed my hair in the sink! I am telling you, it made everything look a little brighter! LOL!! Its the little things that count for me right now!
I am thankful for all your thoughts and prayers! They honestly mean so much to me! Your comments have been so uplifting. Please continue to keep me and my family in your prayers! I really would love to feel good enough to go back to church! I am really missing it! One of my friend's mom left this verse for me to read on one of my comments and I have clung to it the last few days,
Isaiah 41:10~ So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
This verse has helped me through some dark moments when Satan attacks! I know there is a reason I have to go through this, I just don't know why yet! But, this verse is helping me remember that God is holding me through this! It is not going to be easy or fun, but He is right by my side, going through it with me! So comforting to know!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)