I seriously don't know where to begin... Lets go back to this past summer. I took the Summer "off" from chemo to be somewhat normal with the kids. We did A LOT! We went on vacations to the lake, we played at the splash park, 3 Vacation Bible Schools, Knott's Berry Farm and much more! I was only doing my chemo pills which I really have no side effects from. When the kids went back to school, I had a CT Scan and the dr warned me that my numbers went from the 60's to 160! So, we were expecting there to be growth and maybe even spreading, but it was worth it for the time I had with my kids. The results came back and everything was the same! It hadn't grown even a little bit. So he added Avastin to my regiment. He said I will be having CT's every 9 weeks and I can stay off the chemo that makes me very sick, until my cancer starts growing/sharing. PRAISE GOD FOR THAT!
I have been dealing with a lot of back/leg pain recently. It is so bad that I have to have my pain pills next to my bed and I take them as soon as I wake up and wait for them to kick in before I can get out of bed. It is the lower lumbar region. I told the dr about it and let him know I upped my pain pills myself and I was (am) still in pain. He said he doesn't think that it is cancer related. He said that I need to remember my body isn't what I want it to be and I need to slow down. (BOY! He just doesn't get me, does he?) He thinks that it may be a slipped disc. So, I have a 2 and a half hour MRI on Thursday the 24th. I am really nervous to do an MRI because I am pretty claustrophobic! I hate CT's and I am only in the machine for about 15 minutes! I am thinking of backing out. I think I may rather live with this horrible pain than do the test! So pray for that for me too please.
My hair... Since going off the chemo, my hair is growing back pretty quickly. In fact, I even just had a hair cut to "shape it up" a little bit. It was starting to look too Simon Cowell for me! I am going to keep it short because eventually I know I will go back on the chemo and more than likely lose it again. This time it may not be such a shock because it is short to begin with.
We are still really struggling financially... My mom recently had a tumor removed from her spinal cord. So she can not take care of the kids the way she was before, so Jon is missing more work than ever. We are over $30,000 behind what we usually are this time last year. I was sick of sitting by, letting life pass me by and being the cause of my family losing out on so much because I am sick and Jon has to take time off to take care of me. So, pretty much blindly, I joined the company PERFECTLY POSH! If you are on Facebook, you are pretty much sick of hearing about it from me! Sorry about that, but I just love it and it truly has changed my life! I am doing things I have not ever done in my life! I have actually gone to a store by myself without any anxiety, I stand in front of people for about 2 hours talking about our products and giving people facials and answering questions. I know God is using Posh for me to reach out to people and give my testimony. I pray that God always gives me an opportunity during my parties sometime to talk about what God is doing in my life. I feel so alive doing this! Not only do I get some "me time", I am making money for my family, meeting new people and get to witness to them! If you would like to check out my website and our all natural products, go to www.perfectlyposh.us/christianne So far I have had 2 parties (and 3 more already booked) met 2 goals that the company has set for its consultants, I hit enough in sales that I am getting a promotion and a raise, I have 3 team members who have signed up under me, I along with my sister have a charity event coming up to raise money for a little girl who was born with NKH and I went to a convention in San Diego! All within the last 40 days! I love Posh and honestly think that God placed it in my lap and great things will come from it!
On the kid front, they are doing well! Caylee has started at Head Start and goes every day from 8am to 11:30am. It is such a blessing because they feed her breakfast and lunch and she is getting the interaction with other kids her age, while getting ready for Kindergarten! She is my little Posher. She is a real girly girl and can't keep her hands off my products. For Christmas, I am going to make her a little Posh basket that is just for her. She loves to try everything out and she helps me make my samples to give out to people! She has not had 1 UTI since her surgery and is such a happy and energetic child.
Joey, he is still having a rough time with things. He has been to 5 different counselors. The latest one was through the school and they called to let me know that HE decided he didn't want to go anymore and she also said there was really no point because she can not get him to open up at all! (Exactly what the last 4 counselors have told us) He is such a sweet boy and he is very attached to me. He is also having a little bit of a hard time with mommy "working". He knows how to pull at my heart strings and told me that all I care about is Posh and working! I explained to him that I work at home to be close to him and he can be with me the whole time I am working and even help me at times! That made him feel better and he hasn't complained since then.
Jonny is back in soccer with Jon as his assistant coach! Like Jon needed one more thing on his plate, but it has been awesome for both of them! They are bonding even more through it and they both have an outlet to get their frustrations out! He goes to counseling through his school every Tuesday and he really likes it. He is a full blown pre-teen monster!! Oh my!! I was not ready for it! LOL!! He is at the stage where his friends know more than we do and he knows WAY MORE than we do! He thinks it hysterical when we let him know that we know what is best for him. We get a LOT of.. Well Jacob said.... UGH!! Sometimes its more than I can handle! I just pray and give it to God and explain to him WE want the very best for him and we would NEVER steer him in the wrong direction. Our new dilemma is when and what do we tell him about "the birds and the bees"!? I know he is still pretty innocent about knowing things in that department so I feel like if we fill his head with things, then curiosity will get the best of him! I obviously do not want him learning from his friends anything we don't want him to know, but I am not stupid and don't want to be unrealistic, that is going to happen if we don't teach him how to respect women first. Jon and I did a daddy/daughter date and a mommy/son date one night. Jon brought Caylee flowers and the boys got me and my mom flowers. On our date, I taught the boys to open the car door for women, bring them flowers before the dinner, pull out a woman's chair and be respectful at the dinner table at all times!
I do have a very important prayer request. Our 6 year old next door neighbor, Dylan, was diagnosed with Leukemia! He is having chemo every 4 DAYS! His face is a little swollen from the steroids, he is SO SICK FROM THE CHEMO!! Last night, I was in my room and I heard screaming and crying. A sound I will never forget. I dropped everything and started yelling for everyone to run outside something is WRONG!! I honestly thought one of my boys were hit by a car or something! My dad, Jon and I run outside to find Lisa (Dylans mom) rocking Dylan in her lap as he is screaming, "MOMMY MAKE ME BETTER, MAKE IT STOP!!! I AM SO SICK MOMMY, I CAN'T DO THIS!!" I can not describe the horrors of chemo. Its unlike ANYTHING I have experienced in my life. She (his mom) was just sobbing and rocking him. She said every night at around 6pm, he just melts down like this and she doesn't know how to console him. She thought letting him sit on the front porch and get some air would help him. I told her (begged her) to take a walk around the block and clear her mind and just get out. She told me she would NEVER leave him. I, as a mom, get that completely. Cancer is from the devil... thankfully they caught the leukemia pretty quickly and he has a 95% chance of being completely cancer free by the end of November! So please please pray for Dylan and his whole family! I am so thankful that it is me and not my kids who are sick! I would do anything to take Dylan's pain away! Lisa is my hero!! She is an amazing mom, she always has been. But to have to endure what they are going through is unfathomable!
Well, I am going to wrap this up, Jon is already snoring away! LOL! I better get to sleep! Morning comes too early in this household!
Keep praying, God is listening and is really keeping us together!! But like the dr constantly likes to remind me, I can be doing wonderfully one day and 2 weeks later, I could be gone! Pray for my CT scans to keep coming back good, pray for my kids and husband to keep their sanity, pray for my MRI and pray for little Dylan! Thanks everyone!!
