Here I am already.. waiting to get another scan done. It is already time for my next CT Scan, I didn't want to do chemo the week of New Years because the boys will be home and I would like to have a normal life with the kids as much as I can!! But the dr said no! He said my numbers are not falling as quickly as he would like and I have been off too much as it is. Then he thought about it more and said, "How about we do a CT Scan a few weeks early, see how things are doing and then decide from there the plan of treatment for that week!" He said depending on how the ct looks, we could skip it all together!!!! Or we could just do the infusion at the center and then not take the pump home. Or we could just skip a day and instead of going from Tuesday thru Thursday, I could go Wednesday thru Friday. I am really hoping for option one!!!
Then we talked about my new symptom... my headaches! They are painful! When I mentioned them to the dr he seemed pretty concerned.. He kept asking me what they feel like, when do they come on and how long they stick around for! We somehow got off the topic and I went home. He told me not to forget that someone would be calling me to set up that scan!
About a week later, Jon called the dr and he told him my headaches were too strong for the milligram of pain killer I am on. So he upped my dose. He then mentioned he was worried my headaches! He said they could be brought on from the Avastin. He said sometimes Avastin could cause a brain bleed. So he added my brain to list of areas he wanted scan. So we are praying it is not a brain bleed. I am thinking it is actually caused by my blood pressure. (Which he said was a possibility) I already had high blood pressure and then Avastin's number one side effect is dangerously high blood pressure. I am on blood pressure medication, which I take every single day at the same time religiously! But I am thinking I may just need a new BP medication. The doctor said it also could be that the cancer has travelled to my brain. But he said he really doubts that, he said my numbers are too low to think that, but it is a slight possibility!
So on December 27th, I will be having a CT scan on my abdomen, chest and brain. I am surprisingly calm. Don't get me wrong, we are praying everyday that everything is alright and that it is just an elevation in my blood pressure. But I am proud of myself, if this had happened to me 2 years ago, I would be flipping my lid! But I barely think about it!! I am a lot better at taking scary news now a days!!
I will do a little update on my family and how they are dealing with all this! Jon, Jonny and Josiah are still seeing a Christian counselor and that is going well. She said that she would like to see them weekly, but with our schedule, that is just not possible. She said we are under more stress than any other family she sees. She said that Jon and I are not spending enough alone time together. She said we need to be getting out of the house away from the kids for a total of 2 hours weekly. (I just don't see how that is even possible) She warned us that we will start to crack as a couple, if we don't start putting each other and our marriage first! She also said that Jon needs an outlet! He has a friend from work that loves to fish! He has been a VERY good friend to Jon and has taken him fishing with him a couple times! We are hoping that it will become a monthly activity for them to go fishing together for a few hours! Jonny and Caylee both celebrate their birthdays this month! Jonny turned 11 years old on the 7th and he went bowling with a couple of other boys his age from school and with his bestie Andrew Parker! He had a great time! Caylee's birthday is the 17th and she will be 3! (WOW!! How the heck did that happen?) So we are having a family party with her this weekend. Josiah is doing great!! We just had to adjust his meds for his ADHD, but the meds are working! PRAISE GOD!! He got his first report card while being on his meds and it was UNBELIEVABLY good!!! He got all B's and 1 C and in effort, attitude, following directions, observing classroom rules, etc.. he got either S+ or an O!!! We are so proud of him!! Both boys received awards yesterday at school! Jonny also got a great report card! So big improvement in school for both of them! Jonny's soccer season is over, so that means... IT'S BASKETBALL SEASON!! Both boys started playing basketball this week! I love this league! It is a Christian league that prays before practice, after practice and before all games!! Jesus is the center focus and winning the game is not what is important! This is the first time either boy has played basketball and they both LOVED IT!!! I have also started journal with the boys. I got them each a "special" journal and we write back and forth in it to each other. So I write a page in the journals to each of the boys, then leave them on their beds. They read the journal entry and write back and leave it on my bed. (THANK YOU PINTEREST FOR THE GREAT IDEA!) The boys LOVE this!! They have been very good about not reading each others journal and respecting each other's privacy. The things they write just melt my heart!! It is as good for me (if not better) as it is for them!! Not to mention they now have a piece of me forever!!! I love that we started this!
ANSWERED PRAYERS!!! God is really listening and answering our prayers. The big answer to prayer was... WE GOT THE GRANT!! We are getting an $1800 check to pay my parents the back rent we owe them!!! It is such a relief!! But the bummer is, since they usually only pay out $500 to a person, they said they couldn't help us with Christmas! (Which is totally understandable!) So I literally hang up the phone after finding out about getting the grant and there is a knock at my door. It's Julie (Lopez) Timmins. One of my really good friends for over 20 years. She came to drop off $450 from her and her boss to help pay for our Christmas!!! I couldn't believe it, I didn't even have a chance to start to worry about what we were going to do to finish up Christmas and God stepped in using my friend and her boss to provide for us!! Thank you so much Julie! We also have had a couple of blessings through my neighbor and friend Ana! She is such a special woman who is constantly thinking of others before herself! If she can do it for you, she will make it happen whether it is a bother to her or not! She gives without ever expecting anything in return. She has really become one of our family members! One of her co-workers gave us a big bag of groceries and another one of her co workers bought each one of my kids a couple of gifts for Christmas (even bought Jon and I one!! I am dying to open it, but Jon won't let me!!!!) Neither of her co workers have ever met, talked to us or seen us! Just very generous people!!
I hate being in need! I hate it. But I love that this time of year my children get to see God's work in our lives. They get to come into contact with living angels and they are learning first hand, to ALWAYS help those in need! We don't hide from our kids that people are helping us and blessing us. We want them to see God's love and the good in people, even strangers who have never even laid eyes on us!! Hopefully one day we will be back on our feet and we can bless others in need!
So please keep praying for me and my upcoming CT scan! Pray for my family to keep strong and together! For my kids to cling to God and not run from him! Keep praying, God is listening and answering your prayers!! Thank you all so much for praying for us!
No comments:
Post a Comment