Long time no post!!!

Sorry it has taken me so long to update! This round of chemo has really knocked me on my behind!! I do NOT know what it is, but today was the first full day without nausea! So, let me get started with the results from the CT Scan I had!

Monday June 4th~ I had my regular doctor appointment in the morning.  I tried all weekend to not think about the results because I have no control of the outcome, only God has that power! I tried to focus on Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough troubles of its own." If I can just live that verse, my life would be SO much less stressful! I spend more time worrying that I would like to admit!! Anyways, we went in to see the dr with Jon and Susie.  Last time I had mentioned to him that I would like to skip the 5-FU (take home chemo) on the week of 4th of July and I wanted to take a week off in August to go to the lake without worrying about side effects from the chemo ruining our annual week at Lake Mohave.  His response was that we had to wait to see what the results of the scan were.  So, we go in and the dr is talking to me about everything BUT the CT Scan results.  The normal questions about the side effects from the last chemo, I honestly can't remember the rest. What I do remember is thinking, "WOW! This must be BAD news, he is totally dancing around giving me the results." Finally I asked him about the results and he tells me that they were great!! There was growth, which we totally expected, but it was manageable.  I was bummed that the cancer in my lungs grew for the first time, but he said he wasn't worried at all.  I had mentioned that today marked my year of finding out about my cancer and he was shocked.  He said that I was doing really well and he was pleased with where we were at this time.  Susie then brought up going to USC to participate in their clinical trials, and for the first time his response was so upbeat (totally not his normal reaction) He said, "We are not there yet!!" He said that right now we are on a course that is working and we are going to continue on this road for a while.  SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN TO ME!!  I am still debating the whole Avastin thing, but probably going to go for it.  He told me I had about a 5% chance of bowel rupture and having the bag again.  I also have asked 3 chemo nurses, 2 were all for it and 1 said if I didn't want a bag for sure again, don't do it!  I also asked our former associate pastors wife who is an Oncology PA and she said she would do it! That Avastin has prolonged some of her patients lives by YEARS!  So I may be starting that drug along with my chemo this next week.  We are so happy and thankful to God for the outcome of this past surgery and CT scan!! THANK YOU JESUS!!!

Tuesday June 5th~ Chemo..... again! Susie took me this time.  I just have nothing good to say about chemo! (Other than it, along with God's power, is healing me) I just need to be honest, I just can make myself physically sick by just thinking about it.  (I am not the only one, they actually have a name for it and said everyone gets it) So we were there for 4 hours and thankfully, NO ALLERGIC REACTION!! So Susie drives me home and she and my mom both say that I look better than I usually do.  The weird thing is, it was the WORST I have ever felt after chemo ever! I usually don't throw up from chemo, but I did that night! My legs felt a million pounds each.  All I could do was lay in bed, feeling like death could come snatch me at anytime.  It was HORRIBLE!!

So, that is it I think! I have been sick on and off until today.  I am feeling a little yucky right now, but I am sure it is because I was just thinking/writing about my chemo.  Plus I haven't been sleeping well and it is almost 2 in the morning as I am writing this.  I better go to bed!! Keep praying, God is listening and working his miracles on me!!