Hmmm....

Hey there everyone, here is another update! So, as you remember, last time I had the allergic reaction to the chemo I was taking. My dr had told me at my regular appointment that he was probably going to be out for my next appointment because he and his wife are expecting a baby boy any second now. Well, I decided to be unlike myself and be pro-active with my health and call my oncologist, before he went out with the baby, and see what the name of the new chemo is and find out the side effects. So the week before I had chemo I called 3 TIMES, leaving a message each time for him. FINALLY, on the Friday before my dr appt, I got a call back from his nurse. She let me know that he will go over everything on the following Monday and let me know everything then. I reminded her that he was going out on leave for the baby. She said, "He doesn't think the baby will come by then, so he is going to continue to come in until the baby arrives." I said, "OK, well, what if it does come?" She said that he will let the NP know all about what is going on and she will let me know at my appointment. I asked if she (the nurse) knew if he had decided on a chemo treatment yet. She said, "Well, since your file is on his desk, I will assume that he has and you guys can discuss it on Monday!" I was satisfied with that and got off the phone.

Jan 9th- Today is the appointment I have been waiting for, I am going to find out the new chemo and side effects. Fun, I know right? Well, I get to the appt and do my blood work as usual. OF COURSE, the baby was born on the Friday before my appt, so my dr was not there. The NP came in and told me everything looked good and that I was all clear for chemo the next day. So, I looked at her and asked, "what is my new chemo and the side effects from it?" She asked me what I was talking about! I told her all about the time before and told her I was allergic to my old chemo. She said there was nothing like that in my file!!! WHAT???!!! After all the phone calls and bugging the nurse, etc.... She said they didn't even mark it in my file that I had an allergy now! So she wrote it in my file and excused herself from the room. She went and talked to my dr's head nurse who I had spoke to on the phone and she said, "We shouldn't bug Dr Panares right now! They are probably just getting home or just getting settled in!" ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? This is literally my LIFE we are talking about. The NP came back in the room and told me what the nurse said and told me that she would text the dr and hopefully he will respond by today or we will have to reschedule my chemo day to next week and have a different dr decide my new course of treatment! I was so mad!! It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't called him and reminded him 3 times that I need a new chemo treatment! Thankfully later that day the NP called and said that he called right back and apologized and my new chemo treatment is called CPT-11. The side effects are more harsh than my last chemo and they said I will probably lose my hair! I know, not a big deal compared to what I am going thru. But, I just keep thinking it will be a constant reminder that I am sick to my kids and loved ones. Also, right now, no one knows I am sick! I can go into Target without stares or sympathetic looks! I am just Christianne, shopping at Target, picking up diapers! Not so much anymore!

Jan 10th- I was so nervous to start this new chemo! But, I went in and faced it like a woman! It went quicker than normal! So Jon and I get home and it starts to hit me! I feel so sick to my stomach and have the worst headache!! I just go to bed early. The next day I don't get out of bed at all!! I just literally lay in bed until about 3pm!

I am doing better now! I am hoping that like my last chemo, I will get used to it after a couple of times and I won't have such harsh side effects. Like always, keep praying, God is listening. Pray for my family! Pray for strength for me. This is so hard! Sometimes I feel so unfaithful! Pray for Jon to remain sane as I go insane! Pray for my kids, that they don't get to negatively affected by this whole situation. Thank you all and I love you all so much! Your love and support mean everything to me!