Remember that surgery the dr wanted me to have? Well, it happened sooner than later! It was a regular chemo week and I had finished my round of chemo at home.
October 6th, As usual, my friend Susie, took me to get the chemo removed from me. We got home around 1pm and I started getting these weird pains right above my belly button. Well, I didn't want to freak the kids out, so I tried to manage my day like normal. It kept getting worse, but like always, I was in denial!!! Finally, after the kids went to bed, I couldn't handle it anymore. Jon called the oncologist oncall that night. He said it sounded like an infection and sent over a prescription of antibiotics over the phone. He said if the pain got worse, to call him in the morning. I took the antibiotics and 2 hours later, I couldn't handle the pain anymore. We called the dr back and he said to go to the ER. If you know me, you know it takes being on my death bed to go to the dr, let alone the ER!! I hung up the phone and kept contemplating whether to go in or not. All of the sudden, I feel/hear a pop!!! My dad even heard it! That was it, off to the ER we went. We got there around 1am.
They took me straight back, I was in so much pain. They started sticking me in different places, drawing blood trying to figure out where the infection was coming from. They were also pumping me full of pain killers, which were not working! Then, they sent me for a ct scan. All I kept thinking all night was how much all this was going to cost us. I didn't want to do a ct scan knowing how much out of pocket it was going to cost us! I know, I am crazy! So I get back from the scan and they want me to give them a urine sample, to find out where this infection was coming from. I finally get the energy to get up out of bed to go to the bathroom and the dr grabbed my arm. I turned to him and he looks at me and says, "Your colon has ruptured! I have already called the surgeon on call and he will be here in a couple hours. You are having surgery today! Do you understand what I am saying to you?" I just nodded! I was numb. I came in for an infection! Needless to say, my ER trips never end up fun!! The first time, CANCER!! Now, I am near death with a blown out colon!! Jon and I went into the bathroom and he helps me, I can't even cry! We just pray. I walk back to my bed and tell my mom what the dr said and she said she already over heard him. Right then, we started making phone calls. Susie and my sister show up and stay with me.
A couple hours later, the surgeon, Dr. Daskalakis (we call him Dr. D) comes in and is very grim. Remember how my oncologist said he sent my ct scan to different surgeons to get this surgery done before this happens? Well, Dr D was one of the surgeons who was sent the scan. Guess what? He had already denied doing the surgery because he said my ct scan was a mess and he didn't think surgery was going to help me. So pretty much I thought he was going to open me up and close me right back up. He said the best to hope for was that he was going to close up the hole that was my colon! Not to mention, I hadn't had a "movement" in days, so he was expecting stool everywhere and I would be getting VERY sick from it. You know me, when I am getting any sort of bad news, I tune it out. I don't mean to, but its just what I do.
After he left, I had all my closest friends and family with me. I was doped up on a million pain killers and I believed this was it and I was not even going to get to kiss my babies good bye. I couldn't think straight, but I knew I had to write them letters. I was so high, I couldn't get the right words out. Thankfully my best friend, Krista, was there. She and Susie tried to make something out of the gibberish I was writing. At this point, I had about 6 hours until surgery. My mind was swimming and the time passed so quickly.
October 7th, 12:00pm, Time for surgery. It came so fast, I couldn't stress or cry about it. I said my goodbyes and stayed strong. I just kept praying for everything to turn out and for me to live to see my kids again. I AM NOT READY TO DIE AND LEAVE THEM!! They are too young to lose their mom. I was wheeled into surgery, they put a mask on me and told me to breathe deeply. That's the last thing I remember.
I don't know what time it was, but I woke up and tried to pull the tube out of my throat so I could breathe. The nurse yelled to someone else and the next thing I know, my arms are tied to the bed and I can't move them. The nurse told me to calm down and they will take the tube out soon. That was the most horrifying and scary feeling ever!!
I finally get wheeled out of recovery and I was told that the surgery went better than expected! GOD IS IN CONTROL ALWAYS!! I don't know why I ever think any different!! What was supposed to be a couple hour surgery took barely over an hour!! He said everything looked perfect, he fixed the colon, put in a colostomy bag (BOO!!) and he said he removed the ovaries that were filled with cancer, because they were just "flopping around in there"! He said my abdominal wall kept all the stool in 1 place, so he just scooped it out. Pretty, I know! So, instead of a band aid surgery, he performed the surgery that my Oncologist had asked him to do and he said was impossible!! I was put on 2 different antibiotics to make sure I did not get sick from the stool in my body.
I was on the road to recovery!! Up and walking around, learning about my new, permanent, colostomy bag and how to live with it. Then, I hit a road block!!
October 11th, I was doing so well, telling everyone about the miracle God performed on me! Which, it is the biggest miracle so far! When all of the sudden, I started not feeling right. I had to go to the bathroom and kept calling for my nurse who for some reason was ignoring me. My cousins, aunt and mom were there with me. My cousin, David, went to get my nurse 2 times before she finally came. By the time she got to me, I had this horrible pain in my bladder that lasted for a couple seconds. I was seeing stars!! The next thing I knew there were about 10 nurses in my room and the hospital Chaplin was praying over me. I still can't tell you what was wrong with me. They sent me to the Critical Care Unit. The next thing I remember, I was getting 4 bags of blood, 2 bags of platelets and a bag of plasma. They said they thought that I had internal bleeding and they would have to go back in and fix it!!! WHAT?? Another surgery!?? No way! I couldn't do it!! So off they sent me to the ct scan...again!
Again, God preformed a miracle! NO internal bleeding. They still don't know what caused it, but I didn't need another surgery! PRAISE THE LORD!!! I stayed in CCU for 2 days then went back up to the 5th floor for the remainder of my stay.
So, things seemed to be getting back to normal, when one of the Ostomy nurses (they teach me how to take care of my new friend, the colostomy bag) tells me that my Stoma (the part of the intestine that empties into my bag) is not healing correctly and is actually receding! OF COURSE, BECAUSE NOTHING CAN GO SMOOTHLY FOR ME!!! So we talk to the surgeon, Dr D, and he said, "If we can get the Stoma to hang in there for 2 months and there is no new cancer in me, I will go back in and hook you up the regular way and get rid of the bag!" Which has me so happy on one hand that I won't have the bag any more, but then again, I am not looking forward to another surgery in 2 months. But it is in God's hands and I am learning daily to trust Him more and more!
Finally, after 12 (almost 13) days of being in the hospital, I get released!! I am scared to death!! I don't feel ready to not have nurses by my side 24/7! What if something happens? But my family and kids need me home.
Home life, I am getting used to it. I am healing slower than I thought I would! I finally got my staples out on October 27th. I am still scared to death about everything, but its getting better! So, as it stands, I need my stoma to stabilize, no new cancer growth, get my JP drain out and to gain all my strength back.
I am going to wrap this up because it is late and I wrote a novel! LOL!! As always, keep praying, God IS listening!! Love you all and thank you so much for all your prayers!
There have been so many praying for you, sweetie. We know you need to be there for those babies and we're always praying. I'm so glad God brought you through this.
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