Oh my word!! I can not believe that I have taken so much time off from posting. There is actually a good reason for it... spending time with my family and making memories!!
Pretty much I have been just living life!! I went on a friends only (no kids!!!) trip to Las Vegas! My bestie paid for a get away for us and it was a blast! I highly recommend a friends trip to just relax and exhale for a little bit! I needed it. Thank you Krista, it was a weekend I will never forget. We went on our annual family lake trip to Laughlin, we will be going another 2 times to Laughlin this summer. Other than that, we have been a normal family again because I have not been too sick since stopping the IV chemo drugs. I also organized a last minute block party for the 4th of July and we ended up having over 50 family and friends over. IT WAS AMAZING!!!
On the battle front, I am off my IV chemo for a couple months while the kids are out of school. I couldn't imagine another summer on chemo. I had not had a break in almost a year. So, after having my last scan, Dr P said I could stay off chemo, unless I had a jump in numbers. So far I have not had chemo for the last 3 sessions!!! YAY ME!! My numbers are remaining stable, I am still doing the pills for 2 weeks on,1 week off. Around the beginning of June, I needed to shave my head! I had gone to the salon and had my hair cut and dyed by a friend. It was thin at the time (around mid May), but still doable! All of the sudden, it just started falling out like crazy! I tried everything to keep it. Special shampoos, sprays, and even a dark brown powder to fill in the bald spots. But, once there were more bald spots than hair, I knew I had lost that battle! I was SO insecure about my hair when it was thinning, I didn't even want to get close to anyone and actually started wearing scarves and head coverings (thank you Kira, for buying my favorite head cover for me!) I looked like a zombie straight out of the Thriller video!! I talked to the kids and Jon and they were not ready for me to shave it. Finally after sitting them all down, I said, "Do you honestly all think my hair looks better this way than it would look shaved?" They all agreed that shaving my hair would look better than what it looked like then. Plus, I think we were all done with my horrible self-esteem and the feeling that it was controlling me! So, the day came... the clippers came out. In my backyard with my aunts, neighbors, husband and kids, I shaved my head! Let me tell you, I have never felt prettier than that day!! My hair looked that bad before I shaved it. We are all so used to it now, that sometimes I forget and walk outside to talk to the neighbors and wont have a scarf, wig or hat on!! Oops! I did scare some of the neighbor kids in the beginning but now they don't even blink an eye when they are playing here. I doubt if the kids around here are going to remember me as the "mom with cancer", but more like the crazy mom who makes us go home and brush our teeth or do a chore before I can play. What can I say, I want all children to have good health. I do it out of love. Jon makes fun of me all the time about that. He laughs and says I am the neighborhood mommy! They listen, run home, brush their hair or clean their rooms and I will praise them on a job well done when they get back! I even had to tell one little one, "OK, its been 3 hours, you need to go home and get a diaper change and then you can come right back!!" NO LIE!! OK! I don't know how I got here, but lets focus... No chemo, No hair, NO PROBLEMS! So, I am just cruising right now. My numbers are not going up or down, my energy level is WAY up. I am a cleaning FANATIC right now. I know that soon, I will be knocked back on my butt. So I am trying to get everything done now that I wanted to do for months.
Now onto the home front.... Our prayer (my and Jon's) since the 1st of the year, has been for me to not need a hospital trip for 2013. Well, so far my prayers have been answered, but maybe at the expense of others. Since we uttered those words for the past 7 months, we have had quite a rocky 2013 in this family. Oh I have been in the hospital, more times than I can probably count this year, just as a visitor, not the patient. In January, (the 28th, my mom and uncles birthdays) My grandma suffered a horrible stroke at a family party and was in the hospital about (maybe even over) a week before she passed away. During one of those long days at the hospital, while receiving some tough news about grandma, my mom suffered a minor stroke right there in the hospital. She has since been in the hospital a total of 4 times (all strokes) since February. Then, Jonny took a trip to the ER (the same day my mom suffered her first stroke and my grandmother was still in the hospital as well) because he broke his arm by getting it in caught in the car door. Then, about a month later, my cousin was skateboarding (he is over 40, but he still has the moves!) and he fell pretty bad, then he walked around for a while when he finally realized the pain was not going away, he took a trip to the ER. They told him he had broke his neck. So he was in the hospital (a couple doors down from where my grandma was).He is still wearing a neck brace, even now. Then, in April, we found out Caylee would need surgery for her UTI's. Her surgery was in June. At least it wasn't St Jude it was performed at CHOC! We got a change of scenery for that one. (PRAISE REPORT... THE SURGERY WORKED AND SHE ONLY GOES BACK FOR A RECHECK IN A YEAR FROM NOW.) The end of June rolls around, kids are out of school, so its time for our annual family trip to the Lake. Like every year we stay in a hotel in Laughlin, Well the day we packed up to leave Laughlin, my cousin's youngest son, just barely 1 year old, pulled a cup of hot coffee on himself and off to the hospital he went. That poor baby went thru so much. 3 hospitals, an ambulance ride and then back here in Orange County for a 5 day stay at UCI's burn center. He just came home when, one of my other friends (my best friend's sister) had a pretty big surgery, I couldn't visit her, but I let her know I was praying for her. Then, just this week my friend Susie, had surgery. Her surgery was on Monday, July 15th , didn't go exactly how she would have liked, but she is doing well. Well, after her surgery and once Jon got home from work, we ran down to St Jude to visit her. Its hard getting to do something as little as going to the hospital. With everyone sick or working it, is such a feat for us to leave the house, we need to find someone who can watch the kids so we can make little trips!! With my mom now having random strokes, she can't watch the kids anymore and we don't want her to ever be alone because if if happens when we are all gone, who would call 911 or run her to St Jude. So we have to work around everyone's schedules now. Its gonna get ugly when soccer starts and I am back on chemo. I don't know how we are going to do it! Please pray for that all to work out for us! So back to visiting Sue, we were there hanging out with her but knew we had to get back a decent hour because my dad had errands to run and we needed to be home with mom and the kids. So we get home from visiting Susie, boys are in bed while our night owl (Caylee) is watching Mickey Mouse. Jon and I start our nightly "Just you and I" nightly routine. Caylee gets to watch 1 Mickey Mouse Club House before bed. Then off she goes to sleep, we are watching bachelorette (yes, it could be worse!!) Then, we get into jams, I do my Monday "beauty" routine... brush teeth, wash face, mud masque, under eye cream, vitamin C serum, all over moisturizer with 30 spf (because I am on chemo, my face needs it everyday) Then onto my nails, took off the polish and started polishing my nails (can't afford to get them down anymore, especially where you pay $50 for a mani/pedi!!) In the middle of painting my nails. My dad BANGS on the door!!! He starts saying "Get up, Get up!! Mom is having another stroke." I rushed into her bedroom started trying to revive her. She was not responding. I started loudly, up in her face saying, I was going to call 911, if didn't start responded. NOTHING, she didn't even open an eye to acknowledge me. Then I screamed it in her face a minute later and Jon told me I was being too loud, the kids were asleep. I could tell in his eyes, he was scared! So I ignored the comment and started yelling in my moms face more to rouse her. My dad even came over to try to get her to at least open her eyes or wiggle a toe! Then God smiled upon us, I had just gave in and told my dad that we should call 911!! Then my mom started moving her feet then next legs and in that order, her eyes opened. By the time we got her sitting up she said "I don't need an ambulance, just take me in our car." So off to the hospital she went, with my aunt and I a few minutes behind her and then my brother also met us there. THIS WAS HER 4TH ONE! So I stayed with her and then labs and scans all came back good, so she was free to go. So we got ready to boogie out and I told my mom regardless that its 3am, I am going up to see Susie, so my aunt wanted to go with me, so we went and visited her and said good night. Its only July, we have 5 more months in this year! Please pray with me for the safety of my loved ones to stay out of the hospital as well as keeping me out also.
That about sums things up for right now. Jonny leaves for his sleep away summer camp for a week on Monday. I need to get him packed tonight. He has attended 3 VBS programs and starts soccer soon. Joey is doing well on his meds. They are a life saver. He sticks to me like glue though. He will spend the night away from me to spend the night with his cousins (Jordan and Roman) He refused to go to 2 of the other VBS programs, but I made him go to the one at our church. So, we have been spending a lot of time together. One day, both of the other kids were busy, so I took Joey on a date to Starbucks. (Because of my anxiety) I have never taken just 1 kid out somewhere. He was such a gentleman, he opened doors for me, went up and got the drinks (which he had the guy put his name on) and we sat in Starbucks and just talked for a little bit until it was time to pick up Caylee. Now onto my maniac!! Miss Caylee is now in dance class! (One of my bucket list items is to see my daughter in dance and have a recital! She loves it!! She asks everyday if she can go to dance! She is so cute in her leotard and tap shoes. Her surgery went "beautifully" as the surgeon put it. He said she healed up exactly as he hoped. Now there are no excuses why she can't be potty trained. SO THE HAMMER IS COMING DOWN ON THAT LITTLE ONE. She will be fully potty trained, by 30 years old, if I have anything to do about it! LOL!
My prayer requests are to stay off chemo for just 1 more session!!! If the dr makes me have it next Friday, it will mess up my plans for our next vacation. Also pray that Jonny has a great time at camp, learning about God and getting closer to Him and that he returns safe and sound. Please pray for Caylee to finally potty train, she is so hard headed and pray her UTI nightmare is really over. Pray for Joey's anxiety. Pray for a peace to come over him that it is ok to be away from me and that he has the courage to do things on his own. I think he may be a little co-dependent using his brother as his crutch. Pray for Jon's work to get busy. We are having a rough time financially still, even with him back to work more with me being off chemo. I thought we would start getting the checks we used to get and we have not been seeing those numbers still. Lastly pray for our family to have safe trips to the lake. The past 2 years our family (extended) have not had the greatest luck out there. Thanks for listening and keep praying, GOD IS LISTENING!!
